Between the Lines

She could not colour between the lines
The edges always blurred
Unlike her friends who coloured clean
And raised their eyes at her
She could not write her pothooks straight
Nor sing pure for the choir
And so the bright girls slipped away
As if they would deny her
She could not paint her face their way
Nor yet her fingernails
And still he loved her as she was
And swore they would not fail
She never coloured between the lines
He never asked her to
He said he loved her as she was
It turned out he spoke true

©️jane jago

Weekend Wind Down – Longest Night

It was the longest night, and the cold was such that standing still would be a death sentence. There was no snow, but the frost was so deep that the world shone coldly white in the moonlight.
A procession of dark-clad figures marched through the forest, moving in and out of patches of moonlight so they seemed to appear and disappear like demons or frikii. Nothing could be seen of the figures except their silhouettes, as each was clad from head to foot in dark coloured fur, and had a deeply cowled hood obscuring his or her face, and they kept their hands tucked inside the wide sleeves of their robes. Their pace was a measured one, taking into consideration, one has to assume, the smallness of some of the party and the consequent shortness of their legs.
Nobody spoke, and it wasn’t until a dog fox coughed somewhere in the undergrowth that the solemn processional progress of the group was interrupted. A small figure in the centre of the line jumped, and gave voice to an undignified squeak. The figure behind her, reached out a hand and briefly touched her shoulder, for this was surely a young girl by the voice,.
“‘Twas naught but a fox,” the voice was deeply masculine and amused, though not unkindly so.
They fell silent again, and the only sound was the crunching of booted feet on frozen loam. As they came out of the shadow of the trees, the air behind them was rent by a scream. It was the sort of a sound one might associate with an animal in a trap so desolate and fearful was the sound. Only this was not an animal in torment, this voice was human. Each figure in the procession bowed his or her head a little lower, and the leader made a sound of disgust deep in his chest.
“If only we had time…”
“But we do not.” The voice was female and authoritative. “We must keep moving. The lady is almost at her time and she must be somewhere warm.”
The leader shrugged his heavy shoulders and the column moved on.

Far ahead of them, a light appeared on the edge of the next patch of forest. It blinked twice, then was extinguished. The leader of the column looked and his shoulders dropped.
“We have to leave the path. There are soldiers in the forest.”
“The lady will never make it over rough ground.”
“I will make whatever I have to. Lead and I will follow.” The voice was low, and cultured and beautiful.
There being no proper response to such courage except to carry on, the column left the relative smoothness of the forest path and struck out uphill.
It was bad going, and steep, and even the strongest had all they could do not to founder. However, the smallest figure of all remained ramrod straight and even though all her companions felt the effort each step cost her, she gave no sign of her travail. The bulky-shouldered leader, who had been reluctant to set out on such a mission on such a night began to admit in the darkest recesses of his soul that this woman might just be worth the effort.
There was movement in the undergrowth and for a second he thought them betrayed, then the face resolved itself in the brutal moonlight. It was a wide, plain face with strangely green eyes and a bedraggled beard, and it belonged to the hermit whose forest chapel they were aiming for.
“This way,” the man hissed, “the chapel is surrounded”.
The column turned wearily and the hermit led them down a scree-littered slope and along the margins of a frozen river to where a goat track wound its way up the valley. The leader’s heart sunk to his boots at the thought of leading his weary folk up that black thread of track, but their guide made no attempt to climb, turning instead up a steeply cut valley that led, if memory served, to what was a crashing waterfall in most weathers.
Now, of course, the forest was silent save for the laboured breathing of the column of weary walkers.
Just as the leader of the column was beginning to fear at least one of their number would soon founder and have to be left to perish in the cold, the hermit stopped and indicated a narrow crack in the rock wall. Too cold to do anything but trust the big man bent his head and wriggled through. As he popped out of the short narrow passage he felt hands guiding him, passing him from one person to another in the darkness. He seemed to be heading for a patch of less blackness, but not by any direct route. It was not quite so cold in the vowels of the earth, and the air was fresh and sweet. The feeling of guiding hands was reassuring so he just went where they directed. He might have been moving through the dark for ten minutes when a voice spoke quietly.
“Head down seigneur.”
He ducked obligingly and when he could stand again found himself on a dimly lit sandy walkway with rocks on his left and a wall of solid ice on his right. It came to him with a sense of wonder that he was behind the great waterfall and that perhaps his party was even safe.
He came out of the ice passage onto a ledge where a skin-clad figure awaited the figure lifted a perfect curtain of mossy frondy vegetation, and pointed to an arched opening in the hill through which he could dimly discern the glow of firelight.
He went inside, but instead of following the siren call of the warmth he waited for his people to file in. Next to last came the lady, almost being carried by the young man who had insisted on accompanying her from the castle. Her hood had been thrown back and the bones in her face were standing out against the skin as she struggled for breath.
“How long have you been in labour, my lady?”
“Since just before we branched off the forest path.”
As that had been more than two hours by his estimation the leader bent and picked her up in his great arms.
“Come then, let us take you where there is warmth and light.”
In the end there was more than warmth and light, there was food and safety as well.
But as the lady’s pains came swifter, the forest dwellers withdrew leaving only his column around the silently suffering woman. The one other adult female wrung her hands together.
“I know naught of birthing, save that women die of it daily,” she sounded on the very edge of panic.
The young girl who had jumped and squeaked at the bark of a fox stepped forward.
“Don’t be silly. The reason we are here is to make sure nobody dies.”
The older woman was about to round on her when the lady spoke.
“The pains are coming thick and fast now.”
After that the young girl took charge with a calm competence that inspired both admiration and trust, and there, beside a charcoal brazier and on a bed of straw the king’s leman gave birth to the child his lady wife had sworn would never be born. It was a lusty boy, and both mother and child bore the birth well.
Once they were comfortable with the babe asleep in his mother’s arms, the young midwife stepped back.
“How do you come to know so much about childbirth?” the column leader’s question was idle but still demanded an answer.
“I don’t really sir. But the way I saw it it couldn’t be much different from lambing. And nobody else was going to take responsibility.”
The stunned silence was broken by the sound of laughter from the makeshift pallet where the lady lay.
“Perhaps,” she said carefully, “we should call him lamb”.

Forty years later, when the babe born on the longest night ascended to his father’s throne and the priest called out his names to those who would swear fealty the assembled lords and ladies learned that their royal master was to be known as King Rollo Antonius Lamb the First.

Jane Jago

January

January explodes upon the world
With fireworks and cheers
And auld lang syne.
Then creeps she neath her soft blankets
Of snow and mist
Within her house walled with ice
And rooved with frost
And on the casement panes
She prints star patterns,
Draws icicles on eave and gable,
Paints the lawn from green to white
And with bony fingers reaches
Like the leafless trees
To caress the greyness of the sky.

E.M. Swift-Hook

Granny’s Life Hacks – New Year’s Resolutions

I know, even as I sit here with a large glass of something restorative, a new packet of ciggies, and Gyp beside my feet snoring and farting gently, that all around the world there will be people who are beginning 2021 with their good intentions firmed up into New Year’s Resolutions….

*pauses for a large drink and wonders where to begin the diatribe that is burning her brain*

Okay. Here goes.

Whatever possesses anybody with even half  brain to think  drunken promise made to their other half in the pub (in the vain hope of oral gratification) is going to last beyond Tuesday? Worse though are those persons of a prim self-improving mindset who will have written down their plans/resolutions at some time in mid-November. (In my opinion they just need a slap/a life.)

Anyway, whoever you are and whatever you have resolved to do. You. Won’t. Do. It.

The gym membership card will grow dust on the mantelpiece and, by August, you will throw it in the bin thinking wistfully about the amount of  Prosecco/Doom Bar/WHY that seventy-four quid could have bought you.

The packet of ciggies you dramatically threw in the dustbin at 12.01am will be being retrieved and tenderly cleaned before breakfast time.

The jog you set out on will only result in you laying by the footpath bringing up your toenails, while a whole slew of elderly ladies will walk their dogs past you and make no attempt to disguise their mirth. (Some of the dogs will piss on you as you lay there sunk in your own misery. Do not attempt chastisement. Old ladies will set about you with their walking sticks if you abuse Tinkerbell or Fluffy.)

The bicycle you were going to ride to work will appear on Craig’s List before the end of February.

The bread ingredients will just sit in the cupboard until they are so far past their sell by date even my friend Ruby would think twice before ingesting them.

The strange computer thing that you were going to use as an aid to exercise will have become the property of your teenage son/husband and will now be either a golf course or something I wouldn’t pretend to understand – or want to.

And the book on self-improvement (by whatever skinny prune-faced female is currently in fashion) will join hundreds of others in the window of whatever charity shop you hate the most.

So you see, whatever way you cut it, making New Year’s Resolutions is the last resort of the pathetic – and is absofreakinglutely not the way to sort out your life.

Go away and have a proper think about what you need to do, and stop wasting money on crap to make yourself think you are seriously taking charge….

New Year’s Limerick

***

Now that this year is brand new
Time to think what it is you might do
With twelve months that are ripe
You can moan, groan and gripe
Or make more of your life-dreams come true…

***

E.M. Swift-Hook

New Years Eve

Father Time his heavy scythe set down
Upon his face there was a weary frown
“This race of days and months and passing years
Is bringing less of laughter more of tears.”
Beside him stood a golden youthful lass,
She smiled and said “You know that all things pass.
From every tear that waters all those woes,
Comes Wisdom and ways to defeat life’s foes.
Each passing year and month and every day
Is building Hope and finding a new way.”

But Father Time his head he still held low.
“What use is that if all we love must go?
If every blessing deep within its core
Bears the curse that it will be no more?
How can we smile and laugh and dance and sing
When death and loss are all that Time will bring?”
The youthful maid did soothe his furrowed brow
“What matter time to come, when we live now?
The future may hold more than you yet see
And even Time’s own curse may one day cease.
Why weep what hours and days and years away
When you can fill with laughter each new day?”

Then Father Time did smile and with a sigh
Picked up once again his heavy scythe.
“You speak the truth, dear Hope, so as we walk
We’ll laugh and smile and jest and share and talk.”
So hand in hand did then they take the road
With Hope relieving Time’s so heavy load.
And in their footsteps, shy Wisdom did steer
To bring with joy this Happy New Year.

E.M. Swift-Hook

Granny’s Forty-Third Pearl

Pearls of wisdom from an octogenarian who’s seen it all…

Advertisements

Specifically. Advertisers who don’t expect readers to know their arse from their elbow. And. Copy writers who don’t know squat about what they are writing 

As an example – Gluten-Free Bakes (which is very praiseworthy). But what is the very first offered delight?

Christmas Pudding

Since. When. Have. You. Baked. Christmas. Bloody. Pudding.

You steam it….

The best dog food in the world. Treat your doggo. Then it says Lucky the Labrador loves our food.

Only the Lucky in the photograph is a Golden Retriever. Not. A. Labrador. 

*Sighs and reaches for a bottle of something fortifyingly high in alcohol*

Mrs Jago’s Handy Guide to the Meaning Behind Typographical Errors. Part XXXI

… or ‘How To Speak Typo’ by Jane Jago

dauy (adverb) – of speech, sounding as though one has a mouthful of marshmallow

definitle (descriptive noun) – an author’s struggle to find a suitable title for their magnum opus

denoucne (noun) – sticky toffee that is so chewy you can’t talk for three hours

dispure (noun) – a pretend virgin

fugure (verb) to make a column of figures add up to a different total every time you try

hisnts (noun) – male genitalia 

moght (adjective) – of cheese, moist and vaguely oscillating

noticeded (adjective) – pertaining to cake or bread – being without seeds

pitol (noun) – small biting insect related to the headlouse found in cracked toes

priotitise (adjective) – having one breast bigger than the other

thy seel (archaic) – yourself

waiitng (noun) – antipodean bird whose call sounds like an old Nokia phone

Jane Jago’s Drabbles – Four Hundred and Seventy-Seven

They thought of themselves as wolves in human skins as they roistered and pillaged and stole. Their granite tower at the edge of the world rang with coarse laughter and its storerooms bulged with gold and precious gems.

When their dark horses boiled out of the hills those who could run ran, and those who could hide hid.

Until the day they came no more. 

One brave man walked for days, to find the black basalt walls of the tower had grown silent and cold.

Inside there was only the smell of blood.

In the woods a single wolf howled…

©️jj 2020

5 Star Golden Reads 2020

It’s that time of year again when we at the Working Title reveal our top ten best reads of the year. Please bear in mind that this list is not an exclusive list of all the great Indie books out there – or even all the great indie books we have read this year. It is a well-considered recommended reading list of books we have really enjoyed in the last twelve months, consciously spanning genres.

The main thing is we recommend these books wholeheartedly and if you have yet to read them you should consider doing so if they are in a genre you enjoy. So, onto the list. This is given in alphabetical order of author name and there is no ranking. All are stonking good reads!

The Working Title Blog 5 Star Golden Reads for 2020

Fated Encounters by Stephanie Barr
A little book of prequels that makes you want to know more about the characters.

Ctrl+Alt+Deleted by Trish Butler
A taut, spare police procedural with a twist.

Wings of Earth: 1 – Echoes of Starlight  by Eric Michael Craig
The start of a gripping hard sci-fi space opera series.

The Humility of Humans by Chrys Cymri
The concluding volume of the astonishing Penny White portal/urban fantasy series.

A Twist in Time by Brent A. Harris 
Dicken’s Oliver Twist has a time travelling steampunk adventure.

The Elixir Deception by Margena Adams Holmes
A clever fantasy starring a prince, and a pilot on a rollercoaster ride.

Tales from the Pirate’s Cove from Inklings Press
Shiver your timbers with pirate stories from many genres.

Emma’s Story by Nils Oland
Simply beautiful writing, this read like an old Norse myth.

Steel and Claw by Melonie Purcell
The second in the World of Kyrni series, a fabulous fantasy aimed at younger readers but awesome for all.

The Organised Author by Cindy Tomamichel
A brilliant companion for every indie author, packed full of good advice.

And here’s to another year of great reading in 2021!

Jane Jago and E.M. Swift-Hook.

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