Mrs Jago’s Handy Guide to the Meaning Behind Typographical Errors. Part XXXI

… or ‘How To Speak Typo’ by Jane Jago

dauy (adverb) – of speech, sounding as though one has a mouthful of marshmallow

definitle (descriptive noun) – an author’s struggle to find a suitable title for their magnum opus

denoucne (noun) – sticky toffee that is so chewy you can’t talk for three hours

dispure (noun) – a pretend virgin

fugure (verb) to make a column of figures add up to a different total every time you try

hisnts (noun) – male genitalia 

moght (adjective) – of cheese, moist and vaguely oscillating

noticeded (adjective) – pertaining to cake or bread – being without seeds

pitol (noun) – small biting insect related to the headlouse found in cracked toes

priotitise (adjective) – having one breast bigger than the other

thy seel (archaic) – yourself

waiitng (noun) – antipodean bird whose call sounds like an old Nokia phone

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