The Shifter’s Sign – 4

Being a true shifter isn’t the blessing it may seem. But through pain and darkness Perdita seeks to find her own life despite the ambition of others…

Chapter Two – Reparation (part two)

It took nearly an hour before the bus we were following caught up with the other one. I idly wondered why there had been such a hurry and felt Moth chuckle in my head.
‘This guess? They leaving road soon. Lead bus driver knows the way.’
That made a good deal of sense and also reminded me of the limitations of becoming a dragon. Subtlety of thought is not generally a dragonish trait, and I have never managed to Shift into clever dragon form. I called down silent blessings on Moth’s head and her laughter was as bright as the sky above the snow clouds.
Mandrake whistled a complex trill and I understood there to be a mountain pass ahead. I whistled back and two of his biggest fighters overtook the group to wait at the top of the pass. Only the buses never breasted the rise.
‘Where are they, Moth?’
‘Hush. I listen.’
The dragons whirled around us in a silent holding pattern, but they were beginning to be impatient before she broke her silence.
‘Went into rock tunnel, couldn’t hear them. Now out the other side I have again.’
She guided me and the wing formed up behind. We had only been flying about five minutes when Moth asked me to slow right down.
‘Buses are stopped, but I not think destination.’
I whistled and the youngest of the dragons came forward. He flew higher than we had been before and one of the older fighters snorted.
“If he runs out of air, I’m not carting his carcass home to his mammy.”
“He be all right,” Moth said, “might have a headache.”
The cocky youngster spiralled down from his foolish altitude. He hovered in front of Mandrake who snarled.
“Report to the raid leader, puppy.”
For a moment I thought we were going to have a dragon fight on our hands – and to be honest I didn’t give much for the youngster’s chances. You could see his dragonishly adolescent brain veering between bravado and the simple fact that Mandrake would kill him without batting an eyelid. Wiser council won and he lowered his crest. Just in time by my estimation. He backed air and came to hover before me.
“It looks like a checkpoint ma’am. Then a long straight road across the plain to a complex of buildings behind a wire fence.”
“Well looked, young dragon.”
He dropped to the rear of the wing, but not before I had seen the contempt in his whirling eyes.
“What is that one’s problem?”
Mandrake showed his teeth. “I don’t know. And we don’t have the time to find out right now.”
The old fighter who had spoken before rumbled in his chest. “His mammy is from the same clutch of eggs as The Queen. Has always thought that made her something special. Taught young Farsight to have a chip on his shoulder. It’s a pity because there’s good stuff under the stupid, but I very much doubt if he’ll live long enough for it to surface.”
“If he keeps acting proddy with me he won’t. I want two of you to keep an eye on him. Acting the asshole could jeopardise more lives than his own.” Mandrake wasn’t sounding too happy.
“I’ll see to it.”
The wing master turned his attention to me. “How do you want to play this?”
Moth took over my voice. “Sun will be going down very soon. Make use of the blinding brightness of a snowy sunset.”
He laughed. “Ah yes. With perhaps a distraction?”
I took my voice back. “What do you have in mind?”
“A queen dragon. It’s a ploy we have used with some success before. A fighter can puff up his belly so he resembles a queen in egg and fly as if he was in deep distress. With any luck the miscreants will think ‘she’ needs to clutch and try to entice her down.”
“And their attention should be focused enough for a silent swoop.”
He inclined his head. “I think we are in agreement ma’am.”
Once we had a plan I just sat back and let Mandrake do his schtick. To say he was efficient was to undersell his skill. He was ruthlessly organised, and I could feel Moth laughing in my head.
“If we were looking for a mate.”
“Not us.”
She offered me a metaphorical hug.
The sun was just turning the sky the colour of molten bronze when the dragon limped over the hills. ‘She’ seemed barely able to keep above the tree line and flew as if every wingbeat cost strength she no longer had.
A voice from the checkpoint called out high-pitched and excited.
“Look what fortune is bringing our way.”
There must have been some sort of communication equipment in the checkpoint hut because a bell rang loudly in the fenced compound and a crowd of armed men swarmed out of what had to be the barracks. Once they saw the seemingly limping dragon they mostly dropped their weapons and began making encouraging whistling noises. Almost as one man they ran out onto the snowy plain, leaving only two grizzled veterans who were either too canny or too lazy to pursue the idea of a clutching queen dragon.
Moth whispered in my mind. “Don’t like this. Seems too easy.”
Mandrake was of a similar opinion because he changed his plan somewhat sending only half his dragons in low and hard while the other half lifted on the sunset thermals until they were no more than pinpricks in the sky. For a moment it seemed as if his caution was unfounded, but then…
The roof of one of the buildings opened and the sky filled with what I could only call a squadron of ‘winged monsters’, led by a flying horse that was being ridden by the ugliest little demon I had ever seen.
“Mandrake,” I called, high and clear, and hoping he would hear, as I didn’t know the whistled signal for what I wanted to say, “tell the wing to go for the riders. I think many of the reception committee are reluctant.”
He whistled his understanding and the high dragons dropped from the sky like falling death. Their battle cries and the smell of blood on the air were almost irresistible, but I held back, knowing that my time to enter the fray was not yet. The dragon wing was professional and its members killed quickly and neatly, leaving the bodies intact and moving with care and circumspection. Except, of course, for the proddy young fool – who couldn’t resist the siren song of bloodlust. He lost vigilance as he ripped the heart from the chest of one of the guards and lifted the dripping morsel to his mouth. Had I been less vigilant, or a nanosecond slower, he would have been dead meat – but I am what I am and my talons crushed the spine of the man who was about to sever the young fool’s neck with an enchanted blade.
And then, of course, I was in the fight, and there was no backing out. My bright talons were stained with blood and other things as I took my part in the killing feast that churned up the snowy earth and besmirched its whiteness with sunset red.

Jane Jago

Ponies and Progeny: Hairdressing

Ponies and Progeny or the graceless art of equine management as envisaged by the pen of Jane Jago and inspired by the genius of Norman Thelwell (1923-2004)

Today we consider the importance of hairdressing…

***** ***** *****

Whimsies – Goods Trains

Some whimsical words on whimsical themes…

Where the goods trains used to run
Spring has come
With primroses and violets
Smiling at the sun
Celandines like yellow stars
Trees all dressed in white
You and I have found a morning
Sparkling with delight

Jane Jago

Wuthering Heights: A review by Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV

I first happened upon this book courtesy of Mumsie, who threw it at my head in a spirit of joyous playfulness.

“Here, you fuckwit,” she declared in her typically loving maternal and honeyed tones, “read this and find out how to write a proper hero”.

After I had treated the suppurating wound on my cranium with arnica, I looked with some disfavour at the dog-eared and gravy-besmirched volume, wondering idly why it was peppered with what looked like boils. However, it was a perishing cold day, and the central heating boiler had noisily breathed its last, and I was made painfully aware that if I wished to be seated beside the fire in the withdrawing room I had better be doing something of which Mumsie approved. Thus it was that I made the acquaintance of the wild moorland, and of the orphan Heathcliff, and the cruelly beautiful Catherine.

Oh my goodness me. What power lurked beneath those broken-backed and besmirched covers. What majesty did one find in a flawed hero! How one sobbed as life turned against one so noble – and all for the foolishness that is the love of a female. How one felt for an orphaned boy treated worse than a dog, and how one railed against the fate that brought him to his knees. And how beauteous was his vengeance.

In essence, a man falls for a vile femme fatale and is betrayed unto his death.

Five stars and a tear on one’s unblemished cheek.

Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV

You can find more of IVy’s profound thoughts in How To Start Writing A Book courtesy of E.M. Swift-Hook and Jane Jago.

Drabblings – Jacuzzi

The sun rose over the meadow, painting the horizon in crimson and gold.

Leaning on the fence, Reuben watched, as he had every day for fifty years. He should have been overseeing his small flock, sold last year when there was no money left to keep them. He’d had to sell his handful of acres too.

With a roar heavy plant began tearing up his old meadow. A luxury development the sign said.

Sighing, Reuben headed home.

Thank goodness he’d sold with planning permission. Maybe, after he got back from the cruise, he’d put a jacuzzi in his refurbished cottage…

Eleanor Swift-Hook

Madam Pendulica Explores the Zodiac – Drinks

Take this exclusive opportunity to explore the mysteries of the zodiac through the wisdom of the esoterically enigmatic Madam Pendulica…

Aries.
The snowball. Yes. There is a star sign out there that is attracted to eggy drinks with the texture of snot…


Taurus.
Vodka and coke. The bull has no taste at all for alcohol but very much enjoys the sensation of being as drunk as an artilleryman.


Gemini.

Hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallow. The addition of Tia Maria often produces amusing results.

Cancer.
Craft beer. Preferably one with a ‘witty’ name. There is very little that amuses a crab more than sidling up to the bar and ordering two pints of Sweaty Scrotum.


Leo.
Leos will generally drink whatever you put in front of them. But. On no account do shots with a Leo. They get very growly.

Virgo.
This sign is a devotee of the mocktail (pauses to allow nausea to pass). The favourite? By no coincidence. A Virgin Mary.


Libra.
Complicated cocktails with many ingredients that have to be carefully calibrated. Or Jägerbombs, on which they rapidly become spitefully mathematical.


Scorpio.
A pint of anything normally served in shot glasses. And they will drink you under the table before stealing your wallet and drawing a penis on your face with indelible pen.


Sagittarius.
This sign is oddly old fashioned when it comes to booze – being firmly stick in the 1960s. The Harvey Wallbanger is considered by Saggitarians to be the height of sophistication, even if it does taste like cough medicine.

Capricorn.
The goat likes little more than a pint of Guinness, unless it’s two pints of Guinness with a packet of crisps (chips to colonials) and a pickled egg.


Aquarius.
Don’t even… Well if we must. English wine or locally made beer. Both of which, ideally, should be delivered to the front door by a horny-handed son of the soil driving a Citroen Dyan.


Pisces.

If you wondered where all the world’s Prosecco had gone. Blame Pisceans who drink it on girls’ nights. Males of this sign like a nice bottle of red with assorted cheeses.

Madame Pendulica predicts she will return…

Forthcoming

Forthcoming
Spring bounds
Leaping
Loping
Loving

Life returning
Spring sounds
Singing
Ringing
Bringing

Rain Falling
Spring pounds
Soaking
Blowing
Growing

Sun shining
Spring grounds
Bursting
Thrusting
Blooming

E.M. Swift-Hook

The Shifter’s Sign – 3

Being a true shifter isn’t the blessing it may seem. But through pain and darkness Perdita seeks to find her own life despite the ambition of others…

Chapter Two – Reparation (part one)

As soon as the bus disappeared around a sweeping bend I felt the snowbird feathers settle around me. At the same time something cool and sweet-smelling was wiped over my face and neck. Moth cleaned me with care and once I was sure my eyes were clear I looked into her worried face.
“I’m okay, Moth. But I’ll see that wolf at hell gates.”
“We see him there.” My partner’s eyes were fierce. “Can sit up, beloved?”
I sat, and she cleaned my hair and neck.
“Whatever he thinking?”
“Oh. He always wanted to mark me somehow. But I wouldn’t let him. I never quite trusted his motives. Turns out I was right.”
Moth showed her teeth. “I put tracker on the bus.”
“Thank you, my love.”
Her smile grew more genuine. “Beloved is entirely welcome. What now?”
“I need food so I can make the change.”
The fairy put a hand in her pocket and pulled out a cube of ambrosia which she popped into my mouth.
“More?”
“Please. I need to put on a lot of flesh.”
“Going for big one?”
“Yes, sweet fae. The biggest.”
She kept feeding me, and I felt the beginnings of the change pushing lumps and bumps and bulges into my skin.
“One more and I’m there.”
She fed me one more cube.
“I’m there. Can you call for reinforcements while I do the thing? And, Moth, better tell them to hurry or there may be nothing left to mop up.”
After which I lost the impetus to speak, as the business of making the change took up all my attention. Becoming a fire-breathing monster isn’t a sinecure even for a Shifter as old and experienced as me. It must be done carefully, as the skipping of any one of a thousand tiny steps could spell disaster. You don’t want a wing malfunction when you are hundreds of feet above the earth, any more than you want a leak in a fireproof tube so that you cook your own innards. It pays to concentrate.
When I was satisfied that I had the body right I took a moment or two to adjust myself to dragonish thoughts and appetites. When I opened my eyes I was surprised to find Moth was no longer alone. We were surrounded by dragons. A full squadron – or as dragons have it a wing – in my estimation surrounded us. I knew their wingleader by reputation, and I was grateful that the Queen had sent us her best – although I’d know why we merited such consideration before I moved an inch.
As always, Moth knew my mind. She came to my side and laid her hand on my neck. “They say,” she explained, “dragons lost two queens in egg and some drones. Majesty is angry. Was at agency when I call for help.”
“Okay. That makes sense as long as we have the chain of command worked out.”
The wingleader bowed his handsome head and the facets of his eyes whirled appreciation of my draconic form. “The wing is yours to lead my lady.”
“Thank you….” I thought hard. “Mandrake.”
He bowed his head, both pleased and humbled that I had remembered his name. He would have been happier if he had known my name in return, but only Moth holds that secret. However, he seemed a decent beast, and intelligent, so he didn’t hold it against me.
“What is the plan?”
I hadn’t actually got as far as planning, but I was sure Moth would have at least an idea. With her body resting against my foot the mind link was possible and I could see the outline of a viable plan of action.
“We have a tracking device on the bus carrying the females, which we believe will rejoin the bus full of males before both reach their destination. When we find their lair we will see how to proceed.”
Mandrake smiled a dragonish smile. “At least some must survive to face human justice, I suppose.”
“Yes. Pain us though that might.”
Moth poked me hard in the brain.
‘No eating.’
My dragon appetites rebelled, but Moth anchored me to reality and I beat down the desire for blood.
“It will,” I forced my lips to say, “be unfortunate if too many miscreants get eaten.”
I heard Moth sigh and silently promised her that I would control myself.
It didn’t feel like she believed me too much. I couldn’t actually reassure her and I felt sorry about that, but being a dragon, however temporarily, brings its own set of problems.
Moth made herself as big as possible and took her seat between the ridges of my neck. I spread my wings and she carolled her joy to be flying together. Once we were all airborne the dragon wing formed a rough arrow formation with me in front.
‘Are you in touch with the tracker?’
‘Of course,’ the laughing confidence in Moth’s mind voice strengthened me.
‘Direct me then, my dear one.’
She took the metaphorical reins and as our company gained height my heart lifted too.
‘I always forget the joy of flying.’
‘Me never,’ but Moth sounded as happy as I felt. ‘We shall enjoy the only bit of this day that is comfortable?’
I swung on a wingtip in obedience to the unspoken directions that filled one part of my mind. Below us the road meandered like a yellowish snake in the somehow grimy snow. We soon sighted the bus barrelling along at a pace that gave the lie to its general air of age and decrepitude, and once we were assured of being on its tail I whistled – in that dragonish pitch that is above the hearing range even of wolves – for more height.
‘We don’t want anybody cottoning on to the idea of being followed, do we?’

Jane Jago

The Oracle – On Debts

Somewhere high in some mountains near you lives the Oracle…

It was evening, and all day there had been a steady stream of visitors with questions that varied from the inane to the life-changing. Watson thought the old woman must be exhausted but her eyes were still bird bright and once she had eaten the soup he heated in the modern kitchen hidden in the holy caverns she seemed fine.
“Do you feel it, Watson?”
“Feel what?”
“A certain unease in the air.”
“No. But I wouldn’t. I’m not an oracle.”
“And you believe I am?” She cackled with unsuppressed mirth.
When he first arrived her combativeness rendered him speechless, but he had learned better.
“Sometimes you are a true oracle. Others you are as fake as a television evangelist.”
“A fair answer.”
She sat in silence for quite some time and he wondered if she had finished talking for the day. He was about to leave her in peace when she held up a black-nailed hand.
“I used to be married, you know. But it was on the skids by the time I came here. The bastard thought he’d shoved all his debt onto me. Until I disappeared, then his creditors moved their attention back to him. He wound up without a pot to piss in.”
“Did he ever find you?”
“Eventually. By which time he’d found a wealthy widow to leech on. But he still wanted revenge. Came up here with a flick knife and a bad attitude. But a sawn-off trumps a tidgy knife and he had to run away with his tail between his legs.”
She laughed her wheezing laugh.
“And the best of it? His wealthy ‘wife’ wasn’t happy about bigamy. She bought him from me and now he does what he’s told. Or else…”
She lapsed into a doze and her young ghost writer felt a moment of pity for a mere man who tangled with the pile of rags and malice that comprised the oracle at her worst. He was wondering why he tolerated her when the bell on the pathway rang a single sharp note. Picking up the remains of their shared meal he hiked to his usual viewpoint.
The sunset was staining the mountain almost blood red, and for a moment he thought the hair of the woman who climbed wearily onto the plateau was a trick of that light. But it wasn’t. The woman was every teenager’s wet dream from the red polish on her toenails to the scarlet curls that tumbled down her back.
She looked at the oracle and smiled a slow, mean smile.
“You don’t look all that much to me.”
“I could say the same about you. If I was interested enough.”
The redhead hissed. “You should care, old woman. I owe you a bad turn and I always pay my debts.”
“I don’t remember doing anything to any painted Jezebel. But I’m getting old and forgetful. Remind me.”
“You cost me a soft billet and a nice farm. Now I’m stuck with a passenger and nobody wanting to step up to the plate.”
“Do you say the the father of what’s in your belly refuses to acknowledge it?”
The redhead opened her mouth, but whatever she had been going to say was interrupted by a groan from the mountain and a gentle undulation of the earth where she stood. She squeaked and twisted her hands together. Looking at the oracle, she made a sort of mewing noise and her face paled until the circles of rouge on her cheeks stood out like paint on a circus doll.
The oracle spoke and her voice filled the air with the sound of flapping wings.
“Come out of your concealment cowardly creature. Lest the mountain grind you to dust.”
The man who crawled over the edge of the escarpment wore a sharp suit and held a pistol in one hand.
“Take your wife and the child in her belly and go. While you still have the option. You came to cheat and lie your way into a comfortable fortune. But you chose the wrong town. Begone.”
“Old bitch,” he screamed. “Breathe your last.”
But he couldn’t squeeze the trigger, his hand shook too much. Something in the oracle’s basilisk gaze broke what little courage he had and he turned and ran, dropping the pistol as he went.
The redhead looked at his retreating figure and spat on the ground.
“Spineless cretin.”
The oracle laughed. “You got his number now, right enough.”
“Yup. That’n isn’t gonna be any manner of use to anyone. I reckon I’ll do better on my own.” She showed her teeth. “I guess I owe you a good turn now, old mother.”
“Let’s call it quits then. And if you ever need a job there’s always a mountain looking for an oracle with the balls to run a long con.”
The redhead laughed and turned away. At the top of the path she turned her head.
“Maybe one day.”

Jane Jago

Whimsies – Smiles

Some whimsical words on whimsical themes…

There is no greater writing gift
Than giving those who sigh a lift
No better use of word or craft
Than beating sorrow with a laugh
There’s no better plot nor ploy
Than that our work will bring you joy
I have no literary aspiration
Save to bring smiles by my creation

Jane Jago

Start a Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑