I received a copy of this book almost a decade ago the first and only birthday present I got from my father after he left us for a better place (Bermuda as it happens). He had scribbled in the front of it: “I wanted to send you Machiavelli’s ‘The Prince’ but they didn’t have a copy at the airport – this is almost as good. Life lessons, son, life lessons…” and then a scrawled initial.

For a time I used the voluminous volume to support my bedside lamp which was at an awkward height otherwise, its brilliance shining directly into my eyes when I lay back on my pillows. The trusty tome did sterling service until I replaced the lamp. Then I read it, curious as to what precisely those life lessons might be.

My Review

A loving family adopts a litter of wolf pups then is torn apart and mostly murdered. Self-seeking wins out over altruism. Lots of nasty things happen to nice people.

Highly recommended for being such a good bedside lamp stand for so many years, hence four stars. 

Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV

You can find more of IVy’s profound thoughts in How To Start Writing A Book courtesy of E.M. Swift-Hook and Jane Jago.

Aunt Artemisia had long been the repository for family secrets. Telling her something, was as safe as talking in your own head. A visit to her house. A nice cup of tea. Sharing the burden.
It even continued when she moved into residential care. Until one day, while sharing marital issues, Jack got a shock.
“Yes dear. Marianne hates you shouting at the telly.”
Secrets were no longer sacrosanct it seemed.
This changed the family, who started talking to each other.
“Such a shame. Her mind’s gone,” they said.
Artemisia smiled inwardly. She had wanted to do this for years.

Eleanor Swift-Hook

Take this exclusive opportunity to explore the mysteries of the zodiac through the wisdom of the esoterically enigmatic Madam Pendulica…

Aries

The ram needs excitement and isn’t sheepish about demanding it. The more extreme the better.

Ideal Vacation
Spearfishing in shark-infested waters.

Taurus

Taureans are stubborn, hard-working beasts. It is hard to persuade them to take any vacation at all. You are more likely to find them insisting on staying at home.

Ideal Vacation
That holiday village down the road that you keep hearing badly sung karaoke from when you go passed.

Gemini

The astrological twins need variety, the spice of life, to enjoy a vacation.

Ideal Vacation
A dual centre holiday in India or Mexico – city and mountains. Which, depends if they prefer to spice their life with curry or chilli.

Cancer

Trying to pry the crab out of its shell long enough to get a suntan is a challenge in an off itself. So make the destination hot and sunny enough for it not to matter if you can persuade them to disrobe or not.

Ideal Vacation
A beach holiday in the Bahamas or a sunbed in the attic with a stack of romance novels.

Leo

The lion needs to shake its mane and roar to let off steam and relax. So any vacation needs to be somewhere others won’t be disturbed.

Ideal Vacation
An African safari – or failing that a week at Disneyland where there is so much noise no one would hear them anyway.

Virgo

The over-organised Virgo is fixated on detail. They will have bags packed and passports ready months in advance and woe betide an errant spouse who forgets to pack the toddler.

Ideal Vacation
Any package holiday anywhere. That way Virgo will know precisely where they will be at any given moment of the vacation and be able to plan accordingly.

Libra

Libra enjoys balance in all things so when it comes to the work/vacation balance they will want to play as hard as they have worked.

Ideal Vacation
For most Libras, this need to balance effort at work exactly in the scales, will mean an afternoon on Blackpool Beach or sunning themselves in the garden if the weather is clement will be more than adequate annual leave.

Scorpio

The super-sexed sign of the zodiac will want a racey destination where they can take the sting out of the daily grind… by having a daily grind…

Ideal Vacation
Any city with a superior red light district

Sagittarius

The archer needs to hit the target at work and equally when on vacation. Kicking up heels on holiday is best done in interesting places.

Ideal Vacation
A well planned itinerary tour into the hinterlands of Mongolia.

Capricorn

Like every good goat, Capricorn loves to eat and any vacation must include plenty of interesting foodstuffs so Capricorn is not tempted to nibble on forbidden fruit.

Ideal Vacation
A whirlwind gastronomic tour of European capitals if our goat is a gourmet, but if it is quantity not quality that appeals, a similar tour of the fast-food outlets of the United States would be preferable.

Aquarius

The water bearer needs to be bourne on water to truly relax and unwind from the gruelling nine to five.

Ideal Vacation
Venice.

Pisces

For the fish the lure of the waves is irresistible. It is as vital to them as the air they breathe and they will be drawn to the sea on vacation like moths to a flame.

Ideal Vacation
Any cruise. But be sure the safety barriers are high – the lure of the ocean can be too strong for Pisces to resist…

Madame Pendulica predicts she will return…

The perversity of verse is that it sings inside your head
Inside your mind the words take wing, outside they’re flat and dead
Inside your head the music spirals higher ever higher
Singing point and counterpoint to set the world on fire
The thread of melody teases as you try to bid it linger
It dances, always out of reach. Evades your groping fingers
The irony of poetry is how we try to clasp
Our hands around a lullaby too delicate to grasp
The perversity of verse may not be what it seems to be
Perhaps the fault is ours who try to capture what is free
The irony of poetry and life the way we know it
May only be that poetry has no love for the poet

Jane Jago

Being a true shifter isn’t the blessing it may seem. But through pain and darkness Perdita seeks to find her own life despite the ambition of others…

Chapter Three – Mandrake (part one)

If it is possible for a True Shifter to be lucky in the company in which she loses hold on her form, then I was lucky that Mandrake stood before me in that place. He bellowed something and dragons came running bearing quilts and blankets while others built a bonfire and lit it with their hot breath. With the heat of the fire and the warmth of the bedding I slowly stopped the worst of my shivering. Moth burrowed under my armpit and we both dropped into sleep, but not before I heard Mandrake explaining to the young dragon.
“The lady isn’t a lycanthrope, and, no, obviously she isn’t a dragon. She is a True Shifter and as rare as the black diamonds in the Queen’s crown. The lady can be anything she needs to be, but the cost is enormous.”
Enormous indeed, I thought as sleep overtook me.
But I was still cold and even in my sleep I was racked by shivering fits. Moth tried to help me, but she was so depleted that her tiny body was like ice on my skin. I must have cried out because I felt the arrival of a source of heat. Something or someone crawled into our cocoon of blankets and pulled us against a hard warm chest. I drew warmth and comfort and slowly the tremors ceased so we could rest.
We awoke much later under a positive pile of blankets with Mandrake in his human form surrounding us with comfortable heat. In the firelight I could see the multi-faceted eyes of about a dozen dragons, while two of the most experienced deputies wrangled amiably about some point of law. I wriggled a bit and Mandrake loosened his grip. Moth stretched herself and flew off into the trees, leaving me to deal with our friendly dragon.
“Thank you for the warmth of your body.”
“You are entirely welcome madonna.”
I rolled over and looked into his eyes. He was smiling his least dragonish smile but there was a devilish twinkle behind it. I lifted an eyebrow. His grin grew wider and I found myself considering a number of options I wasn’t about to explore with quite such a large audience. I said nothing, but I smiled the smile I know awakens a dimple at the corner of my mouth. He tried to look cool but his body betrayed him and I could feel that he was far from immune to my charms.
He broke the silent thread that connected us. “May I fly you home in the morning?”
I pretended to consider, as if that wasn’t precisely what I had in mind. Mandrake wasn’t naive enough to be fooled, though, and he laughed deep in his chest.
“Busted,” I said. “A ride would please me greatly. Thank you.”
A shaft of icy air indicated that Moth was back from her ablutions.
“We riding home with handsome?”
“Yes.”
“We going to?”
“What’s with the we?”
She cackled rudely and I was reminded, if I needed a reminder, that my bond sister is fae, and as oversexed as a queen dragon in heat even if she is unable to enjoy the act other than vicariously. It was tempting to string her along a bit, but she had been through the wringer just as much as I and I figured we both deserved a treat
“You shall have fresh meat my pretty,” I promised before turning my attention back to Mandrake.
He bent his head and I felt his breath against the pulse point beneath my ear. I put my hand against his bare chest and touched the scars of years as a battle dragon with the very tips of my fingers. Somehow this evidence of his courage and vulnerability made me feel a little bit ashamed and I found it in me to be honest with him.
“What do you know about True Shifters?”
I felt, rather than saw, his smile. “More than most. I was educated to be a priest but I prefer the honesty of battle to the lies and half truths of the liturgy.”
I found myself surprised by and interested in the complexity of his mind. “That’s something we might discuss at a later date, but for now I need to talk to you about my bond-sister.”
“The fae?”
“Yes. She and I are…” I wasn’t sure how to carry on, but found I need not anyway.
“It’s okay. I know she will partake of anything we might choose to do when we are otherwise alone.”
“And does that worry you?”
“No. It puts me on my mettle. I wouldn’t want the pair of you find me wanting.”
I laughed and he bent his head again this time I felt the sting of his sharp teeth before he soothed the tiny pain with a lap of his tongue.
“Behave, sir dragon. I have no wish to entertain an audience.”
“Though you would have me entertain your bond-sister.”
Which was a fair comment, if unnerving.
“Touché.”
“I don’t seek to fence with you madonna. I have other ways to sheath my sword if you will have it so.”
“I think I very well might.”
Moth spoke in my head. ‘He is either very brave or very foolish.’
‘He’s a dragon Mothwing. There’s a distinct possibility he could be both.’
‘Oh. How exciting.’
I don’t know quite what I might have said to her had not Mandrake’s calloused hands moved on my skin with all the finesse of a fencer’s blade. Part of me wanted to push him away, but another part relished the idea that we could do this thing unnoticed with upwards of a dozen pairs of eyes on us. Moth sang inside my head and that pushed me over the edge of proper decorum into some darker place where I half relished the idea we might be observed.
But Mandrake was wily, and once he brought me to the point of beyond caring he was tenderness itself as he slid into my willing flesh. It is possible, I learned, to make gentleness as much of a torment as the slap of flesh on flesh – and when release came it was as quiet as a springtime breeze. It left me feeling soft and smooth and grateful. Moth curled herself between us and before sleep claimed me again I heard her wondering voice.
‘We never been made love to before…’

Jane Jago

Ponies and Progeny or the graceless art of equine management as envisaged by the pen of Jane Jago and inspired by the genius of Norman Thelwell (1923-2004)

Today we consider the importance of correct understanding…

***** ***** *****

Some whimsical words on whimsical themes…

Sometimes she thought she might have lost herself and become just ‘Mum’.
Even though her husband and children were her life she missed… something. In a moment of madness she signed up for the class, sure in her own mind she would be the only middle-aged mother there.
But she wasn’t.
And she loved it.
And it made her feel young again.
The first time she donned the clinging silks and performed a private dance for her husband his smile told her all she needed to know.
Even a chubby mummy can still be sexy. If she feels sexy…

Jane Jago

I distinctly recall being read to by Miss. Grimdyke in my primary school years. She always wore a dress that looked like a floral tablecloth and, since she had a body like a coat stand, hung on her like one too. Her hair was grey, wispy and coiled into a tight bun. She had the predatory gaze of a vulture and always smiled whenever a parent or another teacher set foot in the classroom. But to us sweet innocent babes she was a gargoyle of ghastliness.

Then one half-term she announced she would be reading a new book with the most unlikely-sounding title that mixed zoo animals with bedroom furniture. None of us innocent younglings had any idea what was about to be unleashed on us, but we all found little problem in identifying with the abandoned waifs who were the stars of the story. Myself, I felt a close kinship with Edmund, the poor misunderstood child.

Anyway, to the point.

My Review

A group of children run riot in an elderly relative’s house. One of them finds a way into a winter fantasy world. She meets a fascinating half-goat person who feeds her crumpets. One’s own favourite image of the whole tedious book is of this delightful sounding individual and his umbrella. The other children inevitably follow. After much tomfoolery, a lion who acts more like a house cat is tied up and killed. For some reason, this changes things. The children become monarchs then wake up and find it was all a dream.

I didn’t really get the point of it all and felt the old good versus evil theme was completely overplayed.

A nice enough story for a seven-year-old, perhaps – except the killing of the lion bit.

Two stars for nostalgia.

Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV

You can find more of IVy’s profound thoughts in How To Start Writing A Book courtesy of E.M. Swift-Hook and Jane Jago.

His angelic glory lit the small room as he spoke.
“Be not afraid. You have been chosen to bear a divine child,” Gabriel hoped he didn’t sound too weary.
“Afraid? You’re kidding, right?” She stood arms akimbo by the laundry bucket. “No. I’m not having anyone’s baby. Go away!”
Gabriel left. Her words, “Creepy weirdo!” following him out. The fourth sulky teen he’d asked and so far no joy. Literally.
“Be not afraid, Hannah…”
“Go away!”
“Be not afraid, Rachael…”
“Stuff off!”
Gabriel checked the list. The next one was engaged already. This was so not going to go well…

Eleanor Swift-Hook

Take this exclusive opportunity to explore the mysteries of the zodiac through the wisdom of the esoterically enigmatic Madam Pendulica…

Aries
This sign needs a short sharp name to ram home when you have to shout at them to get their attention. Which you will – a lot. Anne, John, Kim or Gilles might be good choices.

Taurus
Bullish folk need names that are going to bear repetition – a lot of repetiton. So something that sounds nice to say like Alexander, Yolanda, Beatrice or Grayson.

Gemini
Twin names are always a good call for Gemini, even if you only have the one, it will always feel like there is another lurking about. Good choices might be Romulus and/or Remus, Chloe and/or Zoe.

Cancer
Crabs definitely do better in life when they have names that have a seaside feel to them. Marina, Piers, Sandy, or Ocean would be good options to consider.

Leo
The lion self-regards as the monarch of the zodiac so needs a very noble name. Try for something that sounds pompous and you are bound to succeed. Marmaduke, Regina, Balthazar and Hermione spring to mind.

Virgo
Be sure you name them after someone chaste and intelligent. Saints or might offer good inspiration. Ignatius, Benedict, Hildegard and Brigid, for example.

Libra
A well balanced name is a must for any Libran. It need not repeat but it does need to rhyme within if not. You could try Zsazsa, Lily, Brenden or Chester.

Scorpio
Names of famous murderers will really fit a Scorpio – and help give them a role model to aspire to, perhaps. Lucretia, Caligula, Dexter or Lizzie might be good choices.

Sagittarius
Of course you need to try for an equine link for your Sagittarian. Good choices might be Philip, Horsa, Epona or Rosalind.

Capricorn
The goat of the zodiac needs a nice woolly name. You can try Barbara, Aran, Jason, or Agnes.

Aquarius
Naming an Aquarian is always a challenge. You simply can’t choose something weird enough for them! Perhaps you might consider Zadok, Melpomene, Ramesses or Xiomara.

Pisces
There needs to be water in a Piscean name, just a splash will do, but they can become very dry without it. Victoria, Angel, Niagara and Iguazu could all be good choices.

Madame Pendulica predicts she will return…