The Shifter’s Sign – 13

Being a true shifter isn’t the blessing it may seem. But through pain and darkness Perdita seeks to find her own life despite the ambition of others…

Mandrake scratched his head. “Why am I thinking that’s only half a story.”
“Because it is. The ones who don’t believe in lycanthropy are no problem, as they neither look for us nor see what we are if we do meet. But the other lot are dangerous to all trueborn. They are enchanted by fae, particularly flower and frost fairies – even though they would keep the small folk in cages like songbirds. However the rest of the races would, if they had their way, be little better than enslaved labourers.”
“So why are we going among humans now?”
“Because the crowd that owns the hot springs is fully enlightened, and we are safe under the eyes of their security guards – who are trolls in their human form. And because Moth loves the hot springs.”
He rubbed his big hand up and down my spine. “Let’s go then. But I think it might be better for you to carry on driving.”
As I rather enjoy driving I wasn’t about to argue. Instead, I speeded up and we bowled down the road in fine style.
The wind was a fresh, cold northerly and I was beginning to feel the chill even through my riding suit when we got to the gates of the hot springs place. When he saw me, the security troll dropped his human simulation and saluted before letting us in.
“It’s a cold one,” he said, “snow before too long, if I don’t miss my guess.” Then he dropped his voice to a low rumble. “I’d take a private pool if I was you. Proddy young males in the big pond.”
“Thanks for the advice. What’s vacant?”
The troll checked his hand-held computer. “Sleepy hollow or High View.”
“Get us High.” Moth whispered urgently.
“Can you book High View for us please?”
He swiped the hand-held before offering it for my palm print.
“Done.”
“Many thanks.”
He grinned. “I’m here all day, if you and your dragon friend want to leave the furs.”
Mandrake offered a fist and they bumped knuckles.
“Why are we leaving the furs?” he asked.
“Because it’s a climb up to High View and the changing room is small.”
He shrugged his shoulders and climbed out of his bear fur riding gear.
I put my hand on a palm plate in the rock and the door to High View slid open. It was only about twenty stairs, but they were steep and spiral and I discovered myself to still be not as fit as I would have liked. I stood on the apron of rock at the top feeling out of breath and grumpy. Moth hovered in front of my face and smiled encouragingly.
“Is effect of bad drug. But you will better soon.”
“I hope so.” I turned to Mandrake. “I usually run up the steps.”
His smile was understanding. “I’m impressed you managed at all, after effectively being poisoned only a couple of days ago.”
Which made me feel better enough to manage a smile for them. Moth fluttered about chattering excitedly.
“Hurry. Hurry.”
I slipped off my clothes and stood shivering in the frigid air. Moth came and sat on my shoulder – taking a firm grasp of my hair.
“You ready?”
“Moth is ready. Hurry now.”
“Hold on tight then.”
I ran to the edge and jumped. We landed in about twenty feet of blissfully hot water and I swam towards a place where there was a shallow pool safe for Moth to swim in. The splash behind us was surprisingly quiet and Mandrake beat us to the ledges where the hot water ran down like healing rain.
Moth chortled. “Old dragon swims good.”
She jumped from my shoulder into a shallow pool where she could safely play and splash. Mandrake took that as some sort of invitation because he dived deep, coming up beneath me and trailing his fingertips over my most sensitive places. I reached down and grabbed him by the ears, pulling him up so my mouth could meet his. We kissed for a long time, drifting down until our feet met the stony bottom before kicking back to the surface to catch breath.
I had a sudden snap of guilt, but Moth was grinning from her steamy puddle.
“If you two plays in deep, Moth stays here.”
She grinned and we felt her telling us to play without her. I smiled my thanks as Mandrake’s hands began their magic. That was the last time I thought about much, except what exceptional breath control Mandrake possessed, for a good long time. Floating languidly I became aware of how vibrations through the water had enabled Moth to feel what we were feeling without leaving her safe place. She smirked at me and I blew her a kiss.
We swam over to the seat-like ledge beside her and for a few moments we just sat. Moth stood up and shook her wings.
“Waterfall?” she said hopefully.
“Okay. But then it’s towels and home. We’ve been in the water for long enough.”
Moth chuckled rudely. “Yes mother hen.”
She climbed on my back again and I stood up, walking carefully through a narrow passage that was almost hidden in the rocks. Mandrake followed, having to walk crabwise as the crack in the rock wasn’t wide enough for his heavy shoulders.
We came out behind a curtain of very hot water into a place of steam and rainbows. It was as beautiful as ever and the three of us stood enchanted until Moth poked me with a sharp finger.
“Must to window now.”
“Must we?”
“Yes. Is important Moth thinks.”
There is a place where the curtain of water is parted by an outcrop of rock and it makes a window from which one can look down on the main pool.

Jane Jago

Ponies and Progeny: Ambition

Ponies and Progeny or the graceless art of equine management as envisaged by the pen of Jane Jago and inspired by the genius of Norman Thelwell (1923-2004)

Today we consider the perils of being overly driven by ambition…

***** ***** *****

Whimsies – Romance

Some whimsical words on whimsical themes…

Though I’m old, I can still dance the dance
I can still feel the thrill of romance
And I yet know the bliss
Of a cuddle and kiss
And of nookie, when I get the chance

Jane Jago

Much Dithering in Little Botheringham: Four

An everyday tale of village life and vampires…

Wednesday lunchtime meant a meeting of the committee of the Ladies’ Association and even more than the usual amount of irritatingly halfwitted ‘ideas’ to attract ‘new blood’. Em had, in the end, just vetoed the lot – which hadn’t done much for her personal popularity, but at least it headed off any of the possible complications that any sort of blood would bring to the equation.
However, the meeting had ended with a bucketload of bitchiness and backbiting, and Em actually felt tired enough that Agnes’ Parthian shot on leaving had made more impression than it would have done on a better day.
“Anyway Emmeline Vanderbilt, we aren’t quorate any more. How can we be a seven when there are only six of us? It’s been more than a year since Florence passed. And you’ve yet to do your duty.”
Em had replied with a spectacularly rude gesture she would probably regret if she thought about it. So she drove home deliberately thinking only about the dilatoriness of the council in the matter of the bats in the belfry. It was, she thought, time for a ‘gentle reminder’.
But when she got to her house there was a far more pressing problem blocking the driveway. It was her supermarket delivery. On the wrong day. At the wrong time. The delivery driver, who knew her of old, cringed as the Citroen missed the back of his van by about three centimetres.
Em leapt from the driving seat like a scalded cat. “You are here today because?”
“Because I’m delivering your groceries.” he essayed a smile that sort of slid off his face as Em placed her hands on her skinny hips.
“I can see that. But why today?”
“Somebody cocked up?” the driver hazarded.
“Indeed somebody did. And it wasn’t me.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t. Will I take this lot away then?”
“What? And have the next available delivery slot be three weeks Thursday at five am? No. Bring it in and I’ll check it off my list.”
The driver winced but began unloading. By the time he had the second box out of the van Em had in front of her incontrovertible proof he should’ve been at her house at eight am. Tomorrow. She ground her teeth and went straight for live chat. 
“You might as well put the kettle on as you are going nowhere until I get this sorted.”
The driver shrunk even further into his skin, making him look like a pissed-off tortoise, but he moved the kettle onto the hot plate before stoically carrying on with his unloading. When he finished, Em handed him a printed list.
“You want to check my delivery for me, while I explain to Morag in Edinburgh why it’s not acceptable to move my delivery slot without telling me. Oh and make a pot of tea while you are at it.”
Being aware that he wasn’t going to get away before Em was satisfied, he obliged. Once the  tea was properly brewed, he poured two mugs, handing one to his ‘hostess’ and burying his own nose in the other before getting on with checking the goods against the order.
He had just about finished his check when Em gave a satisfied chuckle. “I thought she’d see it my way in the end. Now. How much of the delivery is wrong?”
The driver indicated a neat pile at the end of the table.
“That much.”
“And how much of that is sensible replacement?”
“Ummm. About none.”
“Right, scoot it this way and grab yourself a biscuit. Brown tin on the dresser.”
He grabbed the tin and sat down, morosely eating ginger biscuits while he tried to calculate how far behind this little fracas was likely to have made him. He reckoned it’d be the best part of two hours before he escaped and his mind’s eye saw the darts match and a buxom barmaid he very much admired disappearing over the horizon. He sighed gustily and Em flicked a hand at him. He subsided into injured silence, whilst Em carried on castigating the unfortunate Morag.
Twenty-five minutes later she sat back in her chair.
“Are you still here, man?”
“Until you move your car from behind the van here is where I’ll remain.”
“Oh yes. I’d forgotten that.”
He knew she wasn’t the type of female to forget anything, but he also understood that anything other than absolute obedience wasn’t going to get him released to finish his deliveries in time to at least get a pint before last orders. This being the case he ducked his head.
“Am I taking this lot back?” He indicated the pile of incorrect goods with a thumb.
Em showed two rows of excellent teeth in a wolfish grin. “No. You’re leaving them. I’m just not paying for them. Now. Where’s my cold stuff?”
“Fridge and freezer. I don’t like to see waste.”
“Oh. Thank you.” Em looked at the unprepossessing driver whose uniform fleece and steel-toe-capped boots only served to emphasise his skinny wrinkled frame. She felt unusual stirrings of guilt and scrabbled in her handbag for a tip. She rooted out a twenty and shoved it at him. 
“Here. Get yourself a pint  and a pasty.”
She whisked out of the kitchen and was backing the Citroen out of the drive by the time he managed to gather his scattered wits…
Once he was gone, Em found herself unaccountably depressed and not even the prospect of a battle of wills with the laodicean council employee tasked with the collection of data on protected species offered any prospect of joy. She was just wondering whether or not to phone Agnes and offer an olive branch when the cheerful pipping of a car horn lifted her from her lethargy. 
It was Agnes.
Of course it was.
Agnes and a box of fresh doughnuts. Dumping the doughnuts on the table Em’s oldest friend pulled the kettle onto the hot plate.
“Sorry Em. I was bang out of order.”
“Me too. I’m just a bit out of sorts right now. And I’m not entirely sure why.”
“Me too and me neither.”
“There’s something isn’t there?”
“Yes. There is. Ruby says she has been feeling irritable in her skin ever since this vicar came to the parish. Reckons there is something not right about him.”
“What? Even more not right than being very well aware that he’s wet dream material for every impressionable female for miles around? And not above making use of it!”
“Apparently. And she is very far from being an imaginative type. If it had been Petunia…”
“Indeed.”
Em became aware of a thought that had been itching away in the back of her head for days. Maybe Erasmus would help. But she kept that thought to herself as Agnes wasn’t really a bat person. Instead of giving voice to a very nebulous idea she helped herself to a large jam doughnut and made two tall mugs of the special tea that she and her sisters used to sustain themselves.
An hour later Agnes set off home and Em felt very much better. So much so that she reached out a hand for the phone intending to sort out the council once and for all. But before she could pick it up it uttered its shrill command for her attention. Leaving it to ring five times she looked at the number and for a moment she thought it was Florence Maybush calling her from beyond the grave. Em mentally admonished herself before picking up the receiver in a not entirely steady hand.
“Em Vanderbilt speaking.”
The voice at the other end of the line was fussy and wispy and bore traces of London hidden under its careful middle-class modulation.
“Good afternoon Ms Vanderbilt, my name is Virginia Cropper and I have recently moved into Maybush Cottage.”
That explained the number and Em felt a surge of relief. She injected cautious bonhomie into her voice.
“Welcome to Little Botheringham, Mrs Cropper.”
There was a verbal buzzing noise from the phone.
“I’m sorry?”
“I said ‘Mzzz’. I’m not married. Well, not anymore and even when I was I wasn’t Mrs. Cropper that’s my… Oh well, I’m sure you aren’t interested in all that. I’m wittering. Don’t mind me.”
Em was glad she was on the phone and her smile wouldn’t show.
“Then welcome to Little Botheringham, Ms. Cropper,” she corrected.
“Oh. Thank you. It seems a beautiful place and I’m sure I’m settling in well. I was calling because I understand that you are the person to speak to about joining the Ladies’ Society.”
A small voice in Em’s head laughed sardonically at the thought of another ‘lady’ from that address, but she kept her voice neutral.
“New members are always welcome. Our next meeting is on the first of the month in the village hall at seven pm. Just pop along and I’ll be delighted to sign you up.”
“Oh. Right. Thank you.”
“We will look forward to seeing you.”
Em put the phone down and suppressed an inward sigh. This female didn’t sound a bit her sort, but the society needed new membership. Consigning the woman to the back of her mind Em geared herself up for an enjoyable verbal punch-up with the county council as represented by the dragon who woman-ed the switchboard and the lazy sods in animal protection.

Part 5 of Much Dithering in Little Botheringham by Jane Jago and Eleanor Swift-Hook, will be here next week.

Share this:

Random Rumination – Vodka

Because life happens…

Exploring the mysteries of life through the versatile medium of limerick poetry.

Vodka

The secret of living is plain,
It’s not about pleasure and pain.
It is simply enough
To take smooth with the rough
Then grab for the vodka again.

Eleanor Swift-Hook

1984: A review by Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV

I come across books to review in a variety of ways. Some cross my path, I find them in the hallway where Mumsie has dropped them after imbibing one too many. Some impact me deeply, like those that she has hurled at me in one of her moods. Some I trip over, usually on my way to bed where it has been left prominently placed by my parent in the hope I might read it. A few,  however are recommended to me by Adoring Fans.

1984 was one such. I shall not name and shame the one who suggested it was suitable reading material, but it is enough to say I have stuck their name from my list of those who I shall be sending signed copies of my next book.

So to the review.

My review of 1984 by George Orwell

A rather boring office worker has a love affair disapproved of by the authorities. The lovers think they are keeping it secret but it turns out they are not. They are punished for having the love affair by being put in prison and having to endure endless boring lectures. Then they are released. The end.

This book seemed determined to play on the popularity of a couple of television series I have had the misfortune to watch ‘Big Brother’ and ‘Room 101’. I am surprised the author could get away with such blatant plagiarism. The title puzzled me too. Why 1984? Why not 2013? That would have sounded much more sinister.

I failed to find much in this book to merit further comment.

One star for effort.

Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV

You can find more of IVy’s profound thoughts in How To Start Writing A Book courtesy of E.M. Swift-Hook and Jane Jago.

Build me a House

Build me a house for my dreams to indwell
Where hope forms the frame of each door
Build it of bricks that are solid and true
Each one a plan without flaw
With a meadow behind of the flowering kind
Enclosed with a fence that withstands
Where the crazy ideas I’ve had down the years
Gallop and gambol and expand.
Build it so high it caresses the sky
So the pinnacle of my ambition
Can fit safe ‘neath its roof from uncomfortable truth
And one day e’en come to fruition.
Make it a place where the sun always shines
And the rain falls so softly as well
A place where my dreams nurtured by sunbeams
Can grow to make heaven of hell.

Eleanor Swift-Hook

The Shifter’s Sign – 12

Being a true shifter isn’t the blessing it may seem. But through pain and darkness Perdita seeks to find her own life despite the ambition of others…

It was the best part of an hour later when we descended the vertiginous steps that were the only route to the plateau on which the cottage stood. When we reached flatter land where two camouflaged storage sheds were cut into the living rock Mandrake looked up the way we had just come.
“If nobody minds I’ll be flying us back up there.”
Moth nodded vigorous agreement. “Seventy-six steps there are.”
“There are indeed. My master prized his privacy almost as much as his safety.”
Mandrake lifted his chin. “Oh yes, it’s eminently defensible. I wouldn’t give too much for the chances of charging, or sneaking, up that staircase.”
“No. Precisely.”
I input the code on the double doors of the biggest store. My precious quad bike was plugged into the battery bank that fed from an array of photovoltaic panels in the cliff face. I unplugged and wheeled it out. Mandrake closed the doors, which locked with a satisfactory sort of a clonk.
“I’ll drive until we get to the road, then you can have a go.”
He grinned and Moth contracted herself to small enough to pack herself inside his fur-lined jacket. They sat behind me and I switched on. The quad ran silently through the quiet woods. It was a tricky path, so I concentrated on the task in hand, only vaguely aware of Moth chattering away at Mandrake. When we reached the metalled road I drew us to a halt and looked over my shoulder at Mandrake. He was looking shell-shocked and I wondered what, precisely, Moth had been telling him.”
“What moonbeams have you been spinning, Mothwing?” I demanded.
She glared at me. “Moth tells only truth.”
“Okay then. Which truth?”
But she turned her back and refused to speak to me. Mandrake, however, was more forthcoming.
“Moth says that it is necessary to be careful around humans. She says they don’t like us much.”
“Sorry, Moth. You were right to say. He needs to know.” My sister forgave me immediately, and came to my shoulder where she sat to her full height and offered me a sad smile.
“Tell beloved dragon,” she said.
She rubbed my hair while I collected my thoughts.
“First off. How much do you know about humans?”
“Not a lot. The dragon priesthood reckons them beneath contempt, and battle wings have little time for anybody but their own tight-knit groups.”
“Quick history lesson then. This place is our home. Us being trueborn of all sorts. Some of our number were accustomed to visit the lands of the humans but they were usually either scientists, interested in the technologies of the human species, or outcasts, or the very young and foolish. Anyway, visiting the place of humans fell out of fashion and the skill to make portals was lost. But one was kept in good repair in case of need. Somehow, some idiot left it open and unguarded, and a group of humans found their way here. They seemed harmless so they were allowed to stay. The oversight was not keeping an eye on them. By the time anybody thought to look they numbered themselves in hundreds and they had built themselves a life in this place. They called it NunYa.”
Mandrake stared at me and made a noise deep in his chest.
“NunYa. Now there’s an irony.” He saw my puzzled frown and explained. “The only human things the dragon priesthood has any truck with is some of the writings they revere. There is a story passed from mother to child that tells of a magical land called NunYa – where animals and strange beings talk to their human masters.”
That left a sort of a sickly taste in my mouth, but I ploughed on.
“After a couple of centuries or so somebody woke up and noticed that the humans had bred prolifically. The decision was taken to chase them back where they came from. But the portal was smashed beyond repair. Genocide being against the tenets of decency there was nothing to be done about the humans. And that’s why Humans and Trueborn coexist uneasily in this place.
“Can I ask questions?”
“Course you can.”
“The big one has to be why lycanthropes mostly have a human form alongside their beast.”
“Nobody actually knows. But my master, who was very old and very wise, always said we had probably evolved from the same ancestor.”
“Like dragons and water lizards?”
“Precisely like that.”
“It would make sense. And now I’m wondering what happened to the portal.”
“The humans smashed it. Not wishing to share ‘their’ new homeland with anyone else.”
“I see.” I rather thought he did see because he looked as grim as I had ever seen him look.
I pressed on. “Humans are mostly odd. Some manage to interact with other races in a perfectly sensible manner, but they are the minority. The rest fall into two camps. One thinks lycanthropy is a disease and considers lycans to be no more worthy of consideration than oxen or feral cats. The other lot flat out don’t believe in us.”

Jane Jago

Ponies and Progeny: Too Many Treats

Ponies and Progeny or the graceless art of equine management as envisaged by the pen of Jane Jago and inspired by the genius of Norman Thelwell (1923-2004)

Today we consider the importance of rationing treats for your pony…

***** ***** *****

Whimsies – Dust Bunnies

A sarcastic person once said,
There are dust bunnies under your bed.
To which I replies,
That them ‘bunnies’
In size
Is more like a kangaroo 
Or two

Jane Jago

Start a Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑