… or ‘How To Speak Typo’ by Jane Jago
abjective (adjective) – crap at describing things and very apologetic about it
asrisk (noun) – a very chancy bet
bedeffen (verb) – of folk singers the act of blocking the ears before singing
cormflack (verb) – abuse from the seed of an orchid
downstaris (noun) – small marsupial found in the understairs cupboards of suburbia
eafle (noun) – unimpressive bird of prey
lement (adjective) – of underwear being prone to crawl between the bum cheeks
nadke (adjective) – of clothing, becoming transparent when wet
nppli (adjective) – bumpy and prone to the cold
reabi reder (noun + adjective) – trainee preacher whose sole function is to recite the scriptures during dull bits in the service
rgeat (noun) – green cheese with bits of gravel in it
sayrt (noun) – tongue in cheek folk wisdom
shatreted (verb – past participle) – having rubbed diahorreah on one’s spouse in a fit of pique
ther emay (proper noun) – any one of many fuzzy-haired wannabe guitar legends – natural habitat social media
vitupus (noun) – the excretions of angry acne
wharever (conjunction) – southern Belle speak for wherever
yaest (adjective) – liberally bedaubed in marmite
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