Mrs Jago’s Handy Guide to the Meaning Behind Typographical Errors Part. XXXIII

… or ‘How To Speak Typo’ by Jane Jago

abjective (adjective) – crap at describing things and very apologetic about it

asrisk (noun) – a very chancy bet

bedeffen (verb) – of folk singers the act of blocking the ears before singing 

cormflack (verb) – abuse from the seed of an orchid 

downstaris (noun) – small marsupial found in the understairs cupboards of suburbia

eafle (noun) – unimpressive bird of prey

lement (adjective) – of underwear being prone to crawl between the bum cheeks

nadke (adjective) – of clothing, becoming transparent when wet

nppli (adjective) – bumpy and prone to the cold

reabi reder (noun + adjective) – trainee preacher whose sole function is to recite the scriptures during dull bits in the service

rgeat (noun) – green cheese with bits of gravel in it

sayrt (noun) – tongue in cheek folk wisdom

shatreted (verb – past participle) – having rubbed diahorreah on one’s spouse in a fit of pique

ther emay (proper noun) – any one of many fuzzy-haired wannabe guitar legends – natural habitat social media

vitupus (noun) – the excretions of angry acne

wharever (conjunction) – southern Belle speak for wherever

yaest (adjective) – liberally bedaubed in marmite 

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