…. or ‘How To Speak Typo’ by Jane Jago
athanema (noun) – wheezing breath caused by running uphill when fat and unfit
broing (verb) – the act of shyly suggesting a homosexual relationship
depsite (noun) – place where ill-gotten gains are secreted
diea (noun) – slightly wobbly locomotion caused by the ingestion of alcohol
feredom (verb) – of novels, the act of returning to the wild
infalt (verb) – to suck in air in preparation for giving somebody a right ear bashing
motger (noun) – small antipodean rodent that can be found in the holes in cheese
neote (adverb) – of speech weirdly hesitant and with an apologetic air
perguler (noun) – person paid to lie in court
rogjt (noun) – very hot chilli only eaten by the foolish or men at chucking out time on a Saturday night (yeah, okay, the foolish)
trud (noun) – very hard poo
upseide (adjective) – having the colour and texture of earwax
vitgun (noun) – peashooter loaded with vitamin pills
wjat (noun) – another term for a thingamajig
xplid (adjective) – pale green and about to vomit
Disclaimer: all these words are genuine typos defined by Jane Jago. The source of each is withheld to protect the guilty.
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