Grandmother’s Life Hacks – Leap Years

This is more in the nature of an ill-tempered moan than an actual hint. What is the matter with the media – and seemingly anybody under the age of sixty?

Yes, there is one extra day in this year.

And also yes it is 2020, which is either the beginning of a new decade or the end of the old one – depending on how pernickety you are.

Either way. What the f*** is the big deal? Every four years we get a leap year, and every ten years we change decades. Get over it…

It doesn’t matter. 

You don’t get an extra day tacked on to your life in a leap year (and, if you are paid monthly, you don’t even get any extra pay). Also – and trust me on this one as I’ve lived through a few – you don’t suddenly become ten years older when a decade rolls over and dies. 

I am even seeing happy leap year cards advertised. Do. Not. Buy. Them. The only people who need a card are the ones born on February 29 – and they have no need if they have seen more than ten actual birthdays.

So. Today’s hint is absolutely simple. February 29 is just another day and 2020 is just another year. Anybody that tells you different is an asshole and probably wants your bank details so they can deposit the million pounds you won in the national lottery of some obscure banana republic. Take Granny’s word for it… it’s NBFD.

And finally, to every sad spinster out there who thinks it will be a good idea to propose to the asshole who has been conning bed and board out of her since just after the last leap year. For. The. Love. Of. Little. Fairies. Don’t. One: the bas***d will very probably run a mile. Two: Your proposal will be trending on social media within ten minutes. Three: Just don’t. If you are lonely buy a dog and have him neutered.

There it is my precious little snowflakes. Pull up your frilly panties and bloody well get on with it or Granny is going to fetch you such a clip across the lughole

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