Jane Jago’s Daily Drabble – Two Hundred and Ninety-Three

Chu was blind, but as the daughter of wealth she was permitted to live. By the fifth year of her life her talent as musician and singer became evident, and her father congratulated himself on having the foresight not to kill the child.

When she was twenty, her songs brought her to the attention of the emperor, who brought her to court and had her play to him every night before he slept.

His fifteenth son courted Chu with politics in his eyes.

She refused him

Instead she married a humble scribe, who described for her the colours of peonies.

©️jj 2019

You Won’t

You won’t shut me out
Even when sunk behind your walls
You won’t push me away
Even when walking those dark halls
You won’t make me shout
Even by hiding beneath your shell
I’m here. Here I stay
A wobbly lantern lighting Hell

©jj 2019

The Cracksman Code – Out Today!

Having featured as our Sunday Serial over the last two years, The Cracksman Code by Jane Jago is now available as an ebook.

When Jim Cracksman received a ‘get your ass home now’ text, he grinned good-naturedly and climbed into his beloved muscle truck. As it turned out, that was to be the last time he smiled for many hours.
When he strolled into the house, it was to find his wife and his oldest son awaiting him with white, strained faces. He pulled Patsy into a one-armed hug and looked a question at Jamie.
“It’s Will. He ain’t in France with the school party. Mum got the heebie jeebies because he hadn’t called and got me to do some checking. He never got on the plane. I activated the locators on his stuff and it’s in a locker at the airport. Then I did a naughty and activated his personal locators. He is in Scotland. Stopped moving about an hour ago at some place called Castle Ellan. Which actually is a castle. It’s let furnished, but I can’t find out who to.”
Jim held out his other arm and the boy came and buried his face in his father’s chest.
“He’s only seven years old Dad. We mustn’t let anyone hurt him.”
“We won’t. And you did good work. Now. Who do we know in Scotland? It’s time to call in some favours.”
Patsy lifted a tear-stained face to look at him.
“Rod’s in Scotland. Him and his buddy Sam are doing a distillery tour. And Anna and her motorhome are at some place called Garlieston.”
“Right. You call Ma and tell her somebody has got at Will. Ask her to look after Charlie and the twins while we sort it. Say she can tell the twins if she must, but not little Charlie. Jamie can stop here with us, as he’s already in it up to his neck. But I want the others out of harm’s way.”
She sniffed.
“Yes. I should’ve thought. I’ll get right on it. And I’ll make tea while I’m at it.”
She picked up her phone and headed to the kitchen.

Jamie looked at his father with haunted eyes.
“They are going to start hurting him soon, aren’t they?”
“Not if Rod gets there first they aren’t. And he will get there first. We have to believe that. Now. Quiet. I need to make some calls.”

The conversations were all brief, but Jim looked a little less grim when he finished the last call. As he did so, Patsy came back into the room carrying a big tray with a brown teapot and milk jug, three mugs, and a plate of biscuits.
“Pete is fetching the kids from their schools, and Ma will keep them for as long as it takes. Pa said not to forget Geordie Jackson, plus he knows a guy in Edinburgh who makes boomers if we need.”
“I already talked to Geordie. He has a couple of boomer boys, and they are on their way to a field where they’re going to be picked up by a helicopter what is already on its way to collect Rod and his pal, who I forgot is a doctor, and who insists on going along to take care of Will when they get him out. Anna is packing up the camper and moving to a place Geordie owns on the outskirts of Glasgow. It’ll take her about three hours to do the drive, she says. So she’ll be in position when they bring Will out. Geordie knows who is at the castle, and he says they are not nice people. He also tells me the main man is currently away from home. Expected back tomorrow. Which’ll be why we’ve heard nothing yet. With only average luck, we’ll get the wee man out before the end of today.”
Patsy looked him in the eyes.
“Now what aren’t you telling me?”
“Actually. Nothing. But I’ll admit to being very, very worried.”
“Fair enough. Me too. But the three of us will support each other through it. Now. Tea?”
Jim swallowed a huge lump in his throat, and Jamie just buried his head in his mother’s breast. She patted one and smiled at the other before pouring mugs of tea so strong it would have fought its way out of a delicate cup.
“Sit down and drink your tea. It’ll help.”
They sat, and there was silence for a while before Jamie spoke.
“Has Anna got enough stuff with her to pick up Will’s locator?”
“Yes. She already called it up. She says good work Jamie. She and I think Will is probably drugged, because he isn’t moving. So it’s good there’s a doctor in the rescue party.”
“But. Isn’t he a surgeon?” Patsy asked in worried tones.
“He is, which is all to the good, apparently, as he knows lots about unconscious people. He says William will be fine with him.”
Jamie spoke up.
“Is there any more we can do Dad?”
“Nope. Now is the hard bit. We sit tight. Man the phones. And wait.”
They waited.

Five hundred miles north, things were moving at an altogether faster pace. Two men, a couple of small suitcases, and a black leather holdall, waited by the helipad at the Gleneagles hotel. The larger of the two looked at his companion.
“You sure about this, Sam? It’s going to get nasty, and some people will get hurt, or worse.”
“Yes. I’m sure. They have kidnapped a seven-year-old boy. If they have kept him drugged for thirty-six hours, he could be in a bad way. He might need me, and I might need the stuff I asked for.”
“It’s on the chopper. And how bad?”
“I honestly don’t know, Rod. Worst case scenario is brain damage, but at best he is going to be confused, feeling sick, and dehydrated.”
“Right. So we do need you.”
“And we need to hope.”
They fell silent as the sound of a big helicopter engine came closer.
“Why a Sikorsky?” Sam bawled in Rod’s ear as it came in to land.
They picked up their stuff, ran across the helipad and leapt aboard. A big man in a jumpsuit pushed them into a pair of seats and handed them headsets.
“Welcome aboard Rescue One,” he said.
“Thanks,” Rod grunted. “My friend here wondered why a Sky Crane?”
“Easy. These bastards fly in and out of the target area all the time. Nobody will think twice about another. Has anybody thought about what sort of condition the kid will be in when we get him out?”
“Yes,” Sam said tersely. “I’ve given the matter a lot of thought. Is the stuff I asked for on board?”
“Yeah. You know how to use it?”
“I do. But let’s hope I don’t have to.”
“What don’t you want to have to use?”
“Mostly: tracheotomy kit. I’ve had to do it in Thailand to kids that were sedated for too long on the underground sex trade routes. It ain’t pleasant, but it can be the only way to get air into the poor little sods’ lungs.”
“Fuck. Will it really be that bad?”
“Probably not, but I wanted to be sure I had all the bases covered. But the poor little bugger is going to be confused and frightened, and that’s why going home in his friend’s motorhome, where he can rest and feel secure will be better for him than a plane flight where he is surrounded by strangers, or the noise and smells of a chopper.”
“Yeah. I get that. And we can take it in turns to drive. So we’ll get him back to his mum pretty soon. Now I find I’m feeling murderous. Nobody should get between me and anyone I’m beating up.”
The man in the jumpsuit grinned.
“Fine. We’re all fathers here, and nobody is feeling particularly gentlemanly right now. About half an hour till we collect Geordie’s boomer boys. Then an hour from there to this fucking castle. Any orders?”
“Apart from getting my nephew out and demonstrating the family’s annoyance? No. Just do what needs doing.”
“Will do. By the way. This one’s a freebie. Geordie is providing the hardware and the fuel, we’re giving our time. Nobody liked having the Russian Mafia on our turf. But as long as they kept their noses clean we could tolerate them. Taking people’s kids is a big no-no, so we are handing down a lesson.”
“How many are we?” Sam asked.
“You two. Geordie’s boomer boys. Twelve fighters. Pilot, co-pilot and radio guy. Why?”
“Because I have a bad feeling about what they might do to the kid when we tip up. I want to get to him fast.”
“Good thinking. Six of us will escort you right to him. We have his location on screen.”
“Right. Good.”
The two men bumped fists.
They seemed to have covered all the bases, and the men sat in silence until the helicopter dropped down to land briefly. Three men jumped in carrying obviously heavy bags. Once they were seated the chopper took off and headed north. The men put on their headphones and their leader gave Rod a grim wink.
“Got enough stuff to flatten this fecking castle. Geordie says you have to agree, though.”
“Oh yeah. Let’s show them our fist! But we have to get little Bill out first. And if they’ve hurt him…”
The smallest of the boomer boys spat eloquently.
“Aye. There’s examples to be made.”

To keep reading snag yourself a copy of The Cracksman Code by Jane Jago!

Jane Jago’s Daily Drabble – Two Hundred and Ninety-Two

They called him the Artist Nouveau, and Eleanora was his muse. He painted her as Ophelia, as Juliet, as the Queen of Faerie, in flowing draperies, naked save for her titian curls.

Everyone who was anyone wanted a portrait of her serene beauty to decorate their homes, and those who were nobody bought prints in tacky frames.

The couple was feted and lionised wherever they chose to go. In the eyes of the world they were perfect, but they hid secrets. 

Eleanora had her husband and chubby babies, while the Artist was the plaything of a sarcastic Dom called Brian. 

©️jj 2019

The Marathon Song

This is the way that the Marathon’s run
Run away, this away, run away, run.
There is the sound of the starting gun
Run all you people, line up and run!

Off we all go for the race has begun
Run away, this away, run away, run.
Out on the streets, the crowd’s having fun
Run all you people, line up and run!

Dressing as brides who have away run
Run away, this away, run away, run.
Or pantomime horses, bay, grey or dun.
Run all you people, line up and run!

People of all shapes some old and some young
Run away, this away, run away, run.
Sweating and panting all out in the sun
Run all you people, line up and run!

The miles are eaten up now one by one
Run away, this away, run away, run.
By the halfway point some runners are done
Run all you people, line up and run!

Grabbing at water or going with none
Run away, this away, run away, run.
The end is in sight as your legs weigh a ton
Run all you people, line up and run!

But at the finish where is everyone?
Run away, this away, run away, run.
All went the wrong way, so the race is rerun.
Run all you people, line up and run!

E.M. Swift-Hook

Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV reviews ‘Great Expectations’ by Charles Dickens

One’s new particular chum, who I shall refer to henceforward as Adonis, seeks to improve his grasp of the English tongue by reading the ‘classics’. He chose this particular tome on the recommendation of the drunken harridan that is one’s own distaff parent. One read with him from a sense of solidarity, but rather wishes one hadn’t.

My Review

Overview: A man with a preposterous name thinks he is somebody he isn’t. There is a convict, and a madwoman who insists on wearing a motheaten wedding dress. And none of it makes any sense.

Adonis cried at some of the words this author put in the madwoman’s mouth. In particular this, which he quoted for day upon boring day: ‘I stole her heart away and put ice in its place.’

Myself, I am made of sterner stuff and found it difficult to understand why the ‘hero’ is so poor spirited as to put up with the treatment he receives at the hands of the icy Estella.

No, mes amis. This book is not for one. It is convoluted and confusing and it doesn’t even feature a decently happy ending.

One reluctantly awards it two stars for the sparkle of tears in Adonis’  cerulean blue eyes.

Jane Jago’s Daily Drabble – Two Hundred and Ninety-One

He thought himself an evolutionary joke. The single upraised finger of genetics to the expectations of the world. How could the only son of beautiful parents look like him?

He was short, portly, and oddly disproportional. All his life he had been the butt of bullying thinly disguised as ‘jokes’.  Until the day he had had enough. 

He walked out of the door with nothing but a guitar and a lacerated heart.

Somewhere on the Greyhound Bus he ceased to exist and Muchos Garcia was born.

Little fat Muchos and his mariachi band made millions. 

But he never went home…

©️jj 2019

Coffee Break Read – The Cracksman Family

Having featured as our Sunday Serial over the last two years, The Cracksman Code by Jane Jago is now available to pre-order as an ebook.

A few hundred miles south, on the downs outside Brighton, the Cracksman family was gathered around a much-scarred table in Grandma’s enormous kitchen. Everyone cradled a huge mug of viciously strong tea.
“So. What’s the plan?” Jim Cracksman senior dunked a ginger biscuit in his tea.
“Well. I ain’t happy with that school,” Jim junior growled. “How they can mislay a child and not notice…”
“We aren’t surprised,” Cy spoke for the twins. “It used to be a really good school, but the new head teacher don’t have any time for Pikeys. She wants them all out.”
“Even though more than half her roll are Cracksman kids?”
“Even though,” Matt shook his head. “She is that prejudiced, and that stupid. We was about to talk to you about finding some place else for the little men. Couldn’t you talk big school into classes for younger kids?”
“Probably could,” Jim senior scratched his armpit. “But is it that bad?”
Charlie raised his head from his tea mug.
“It is. It don’t bother me. But it has been getting to Bill. He tries to protect me, coz I’m little. But I’m tougher than him. Ask Dad.”
Jim cuffed him lovingly.
“Yeah. I had to get Charlie here to promise not to tell the head teacher to fuck off.’
“But what’s her problem with a five-year-old boy?” Grandma Cracksman sounded deeply annoyed.
“Oh. I expect it’s because he is so clever,” Patsy said. “It gets on my tits at times. And I’m his mother.”
“Even so. She has a duty of care. And she failed.”
“She did. She and the staff in charge of this exchange trip. Six staff and twelve kids. They should’ve noticed Bill was missing. And they should’ve checked.”
Matt frowned.
“But they never. Though we do have one question. How did the stupid little sod let himself get took? I mean, he knows better…”
“They didn’t entice him,” Jim said in a voice of deep disgust. “They used violence.”
“But he’s only seven,” Cy expostulated. “The bastards.”

From The Cracksman Code by Jane Jago which is out on 22 June and is available for preorder now!

Jane Jago’s Daily Drabble – Two Hundred and Ninety

Maurice staged yet another row and stormed out with his mane of white hair streaming behind him. He hopped onto the Eurostar to Brussels in hot pursuit of a mezzo soprano, whose porcelain beauty concealed the temper of an avaricious virago.

Ellie gave them a year.

It was almost eleven months later when Maurice swept back into town. 

He strolled into the drawing room of Ellie’s Chelsea house to find her sitting in the window seat.

She stood up slowly and he almost swallowed his tongue.

His wife was pregnant.

Maybe this time he really had been away too long…

©️jj 2019

Coffee Break Read – Engaged

This was not a pregnant pause. The sense of expectation was something altogether more profound and powerful. For most watching, it was like the moment when a giant firework screams upwards into the midnight sky at New Year, drawing every eye and inspiring the mind to speculate upon what exciting and marvellous spectacle of explosive beauty could follow in the moments to come.
There was a preternatural hush. The unsound of every breath held in anticipation, and for a few scant seconds, time was suspended into tableau. From forth movement, activity and life there was birthed a stillness which transformed the instant to a photograph captured by the camera of every eye present. Something wonderful was about to happen, a culmination and catharsis which was both long expected and yet in the moment surprising.
Standing alone in the middle of this captivated audience I felt only clammy nausea. The cold, sickening churning of dread in my stomach, seemed to drop like lead as if I was in a high-speed lift going down fast. This was akin to standing before the darkened radar screen of an air traffic control room and watching two points of light merge into one, flaring more brilliant, the second before it blinked out forever.
But, as everyone else there present, in that moment I only had eyes for Roxanne.
She looked ethereal in profile, like an antique watercolour. Her hair the living copper shades that Titian craved, her face damask, skin with the softened radiance of fine porcelain or bone china. I could not see her eyes, they were not fixed on me, but I knew they would be as compelling as the sea, the colour of the Mediterranean, neither blue nor green but some special tone that ascended beyond those both and was all her own.
She wore white, a symbol of purity, innocence – and sacrifice. For a moment, when the red fell against it in a liquid splash of violent colour, I felt as if a blade had slid into my own throat and I couldn’t breathe from the pain.
Then she spoke and time returned.
Roxanne was smiling. People sighed, words broke the mirror of silence and there was even clapping as she lifted her hand to show the ring and cup the ruby pendant her fiance had just slipped around her neck,  so she could see it better. In seconds she was surrounded by a thicket of family – mostly female – and friends – exclusively female.
The sea of well-wishers, oblivious to my presence, washed around me like an incoming tide and my isolation deepened. It took me a while to realise that I was still breathing, that the world was still turning and that the painful constriction in my throat and the cold knot in my stomach were invisible to everyone.  I became aware that for someone in that moment the centre of the universe was not Roxanne. Someone was watching me.
I did not need to shift my vision very far. He was close, very close, to where Roxanne was holding her impromptu court. Her fiance. His lips were addressing words to her fawning father whose broad back was towards me, but his chilling blue gaze rested on me.
They held no trace of triumph, no gloating superiority – in fact, no real emotion at all. All they contained was the cold dispassion of menace – a statement not a threat. This was not a battle lost, a campaign defeated. This was the end of the war. I had lost everything and had no hope. Life itself was without meaning. I was nothing now and despair settled into me, it’s vulture’s beak ripping the soul-flesh from my heart. Then, abruptly, the ice blue eyes shifted away from me and, dismissed, I turned, left the room and walked out of my own life.

E.M. Swift-Hook

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