Coffee Break Read – Sweet Truth

Midwinter Miracle by E.M. Swift-Hook is a Fortune’s Fools short story. Tegwyth used to receive gifts at Midwinter, until she became one herself. Alone in the snow, she will do anything to survive because of the one thing that matters most to her…

The loaf was within reach now. But so was the coat and it was that Tegwyth slid carefully from the stool first, looping it around her and under her cloak out of sight. Then she reached out again for the bread.

“I really wouldn’t do that if I was you.”

It was the bearded man. He had moved away from the fire, perhaps so the other two could get to know each other – or perhaps, feeling simply not wanted there anymore. Either way, he now stood on the far side of the table. His face hard, although his voice sounded more as if he were offering her friendly advice than any threat. But she had just become a thief – she had stolen his coat, its warmth so good around her, the warmth of life in the bitter cold of winter. And the price of theft, even if she had been free and not hunted as an escaped slave, was death.

For a moment she thought to run. To flee. Break away. Rush for the door and out into the snow. But as if he could read her thoughts, the bearded man had taken a step to the side so she would have to pass him to be able to leave. His hand curled on a strange looking item clipped onto his belt. But as he moved and light fell on her face, his expression changed. It seemed to soften, as the warmth of the sun softens the hard packed ice. His hand moved away from his belt and he shook his head.

“Sweet truth and dare, you’re only a bloody child,” he said. And reaching past her he picked up the loaf. Tegwyth wondered when he would notice she had taken his coat, maybe he would see the flash of brilliant colour through one of the holes in her cloak, maybe he –

“Here, you hungry? Eat this and I’ll get you some hot soup to go with it.”

Her hands closed over the bread. It felt soft and smelled of yeast and grain – and life.

E.M. Swift-Hook 

A Midwinter Miracle is available on Audible,  as an ebook and paperback and can be purchased from Amazon, Kobo, iTunes and Googleplay. This special edition has typographic art and cover design by Zora Marie.

Nursery Rhymes for the Third Age – 1

A selection of rhymes by Jane Jago, made age appropriate for those for whom their second childhood is just around the corner…

Hippie Frannie

Hippie Frannie somebody’s granny
How does your garden grow?
With poppy seeds and ganja weeds
And hookah pipes all in a row, row, row,
And hookah pipes all in a row.

You can find this, and other whimsical takes of life in On The Throne? a little book of contemplation from Jane Jago.

Author feature The Redhead, the Rogue and the Railroad by Jane Jago

In The Redhead, the Rogue and the Railroad by Jane Jago, immerse yourself in a Wild West that never was. Journey across the land with Mir and Cuchilo as they pick apart interconnecting conspiracies that threaten their country and their lives. 

Three days later a modest buckboard drawn by a single horse made its way along a dirt road that ran between stockyards full of bawling cattle. Closer to the buckled iron railroad track, there were a couple of warehouses and a dispirited looking hotel. The driver pulled up outside the building and tied his horse to the hitching rail. He was a big man, with a shock of white hair and the beginnings of a belly. His companion, who he handed down from the carriage with exaggerated care, was a small woman who wore a black dress made high to the throat and a close bonnet. As her feet hit the pavement she looked up into his eyes and spoke very quietly.
“Sheesh Cuchilo. How in hell do women manage to put up with dresses?”
He laughed. “I dunno Miri, but just you hush up now. A wife should be seen and not heard.”
Promising herself he would suffer for that one at a later date, Mir put her game face on and followed meekly at his heels.
The sour-faced man behind the desk ignored them and carried on reading a dogeared book.
Cuchilo bashed one big fist on the tarnished bell that sat on the desk. The clerk bestirred himself sufficiently to look up.
“Chu want, mister?”
“A room for the night.”
“You want a room?”
Mir knew how difficult it was for Cuchilo not to grab the rude clerk by his scrawny neck and shake him until his bulging eyeballs rattled. But he did well, merely leaning on the the desk and clearing his throat.
“This is a hotel ain’t it?”
The clerk blinked twice and pulled a leather-bound volume towards him. “I guess we got a room if you put it like that.” He opened the book and pushed it across the scarred wood. “Sign here. Name and add-ress if’n you got one.”
Cuchilo took up the chained pen and wrote.
When he finished the clerk glanced at the page.
“Reverend Green, huh? That’d be your summer name then.”
Cuchilo eyed him and he sort of shrunk into the collar of his grubby shirt.
“Summer, winter. Don’t make no difference to a wandering preacher.” Cuchilo sounded amiable enough, but Mir reckoned the clerk had about a minute to start finding his manners. That worthy must have noticed too, because he spoke with a good deal more civility.
“That’ll be sixty-five cents for the room with another twenty-five to stable your horse.”
Cuchilo flipped him a yellowboy. “Keep the change.”
The clerk handed him a key.
“Room ten. It’s out back. Stable’s out back too. You can get food at Rosa’s Cantina down by the railroad.”
Then it seemed as if he had run out of words because he hunched a shoulder and went back to his book.

A Bite of… Jane Jago

How much of you is in your heroine?

Other than her being younger, prettier and far more capable than me we might be twins.

Facing your demons? How much of what you write could be classed as therapy?

It would be nice to be interesting and claim that I write to exorcise trauma, suffering and unluck. However that would be a big fat hairy fib. All I ever intend to do is tell a story in the most accessible manner possible.

Is it important to include all shades of belief and sexual orientation in a book?

No. But it is important to include the possibility of all shades of belief and orientation.

Why do you write?

Because I can’t not write. I just like the process and the honing of the craft. It’s the most fun you can have with your clothes on.

And finally: Chips (fries) or pasta? 

Chips. Obviously. Anybody who can seriously ask that question can never be included in the ranks of my intimates as we rampage through life frightening the young with our elderly enthusiasm and total lack of f**ks to give.

Jane is a genre-hopping pensioner whose writing is informed by an attitude that has been referred to as ‘a bad influence’ and an inability to stand on her sense of humour.
Don’t read her books if you are easily offended by the reality of the human condition. You can find her on FaceBook, Twitter or this blog.

EM-Drabbles – Eighty-One

Women were the first victims. Behind masks of outrage, many of the men in power sniggered like schoolboys and uploaded pictures of their female political opposition to be made AI naked, which would then be leaked anonymously.

Then a new app hit smartphones called ‘Ding Dong’ which had nothing to do with doorbells. Now those male politicians found their superbly AI predicted naked torsos, paunchy and flabby, with whatever the uploader desired, put in place of their penis and moulded to look like it belonged.

Within days there were laws in hand all over the world to ban the app.

E.M. Swift-Hook

Sunday Serial Star Dust: 0101

Built upon an asteroid, these mighty habitation towers are the final stronghold of humanity in a star system ravaged by a long-ago war. Now, centuries after the apocalyptic conflict, the city thrives — a utopia for the rich who live at the top, built on the labours of the poor stuck below…

The sleek, gleaming corridors and brilliant fake sunlight had Joah half convinced the very air was sweeter here than her home. They were on the floor below the Presidential Suite. She had never climbed so high before; even the most prestigious of the celebrity glitterfest awards she had been to were held in a posh venue several floors down. Zarshay, in her neat, fashion-conscious outfit and without the tight hood suppressing her hair, looked nothing like the ultra-rational Xexe Chay she played in the show. Instead she was transformed into the perfect appearance of a PA, radiating an aura of efficiency. It was on such occasions as this that Joah wished she was as good an actress.
The meeting room projected from the side of the tower with a solid but transparent strip running across the floor, offering a vertiginous vista of the city below. But in this room, you were not encouraged to look down. The ceiling gave the appearance of being intangible, and somewhere above them an illusory sky seemed close enough to touch, soft blue, the colour of Heila’s eyes, with fluffy clouds. Joah wondered what the trick of it was.
They were served by silent figures who could have been people or not, it was hard to tell these days. Drinks and nibbles. Zarshay nibbled. Joah didn’t. Her guts were too tight even to let her sip at the drink in front of her on the dark oval table.
The door opened several times as they waited, and each time Joah was half out of her seat before she realised it was not the president’s aide, just a lowly admin or security person doing a check. After the third false start, she felt Zarshay’s hand squeeze her own, reassuring and calming. Glancing at her, Joah saw she was wearing her best “we can do this” smile.
She knew when Dain Strand finally arrived. There was a sudden flotilla of fussing humanity filling the room and then he appeared. He shook Joah’s hand with a warm grip. She found herself thinking there was not too much family resemblance, but it did not surprise her to be dealing with a Strand. The president was renowned for liking to keep his extended family gainfully employed at a high level.
“Glad you could make it,” he said, as if they were friends and he had asked her over for a social event. He moved past her before she could reply, and settled into a chair on the other side of the table, flanked by two of his staff who Joah assumed were bodyguards.
“Look, let’s get down to business right away — I’m sure you have places you need to be, Ms. Meer, and so do I. Your show — the one about that spaceship. It’s a good show. Great show, in fact, I’ve not missed an episode since it started airing. The president loves it. He loves it a lot.” He stopped speaking as if that was all he had to say, and there was a moment of awkward silence.
“Uh — well, thank you for saying so. We do try to pack in as much fun and excitement as we can. I am happy you both enjoy it so much.” Joah bit her tongue to stop herself gushing.
“I do. A lot. And it has given the president an idea — something the whole of the City can get behind.” Dain Strand paused and suddenly Joah could see the family resemblance in the way he managed the moment. “The president wants to build The Golden Strand and he wants you and your crew to be a part of it.”
Joah closed her mouth, which had fallen open on the word “Strand”. Not for the first time, she wished she had even a fraction of Zarshay’s ability to act.
“I — I —”
“I know what you are thinking, and I promise you that you’ll get full royalties for use of the name and theme, and we’ll be packaging out some media prompts with your people getting to share a platform with the president for the launch of the project as well. But I’ll need you to make over all the blueprints, designs, everything, to my engineers.”
His expression was serious, but it had to be a joke.
“We don’t run to blueprints. It’s only some virtual modelling artwork,” she explained, hearing the edge of desperation in her own voice. “It’s not like it’s a real spaceship or anything.”
Dain Strand smiled and she felt the full force of his predatory charisma.
“I know that,” he said, lifting a hand as if waving away her protests. “But building it would be a project everyone in the city would get behind.”
Zarshay had been silent until then, but now she spoke.
“What I am hearing, Mr. Strand, is that you want to get the city to support this project, not that you want to build a ship to explore the galaxy.”
For a moment there was a cold silence, and Dain looked at Zarshay in a way that made Joah’s flesh creep. Then he laughed, a short, mirthless bark of sound, and leaned towards Joah.
“She’s good. If she’s on your business team, I can see why you do well.” He winked, and Joah suppressed a shudder. Then Dain was pushing himself to his feet. “Well, as we are on the same node here, I guess my work is done. I’ll leave the details to the legal team.”
Everyone rose and Joah had her hand pressed once more, then the president’s emollient hatchet man was gone.

Star Dust by E.M. Swift-Hook, originally appeared in The Last City, a shared-universe anthology. This version is the ‘Author’s Cut’ and differs, very slightly, from that original. Next week – Episode 0110

Between the Lines

She could not colour between the lines
The edges always blurred
Unlike her friends who coloured clean
And raised their eyes at her
She could not write her pothooks straight
Nor sing pure for the choir
And so the bright girls slipped away
As if they would deny her
She could not paint her face their way
Nor yet her fingernails
And still he loved her as she was
And swore they would not fail
She never coloured between the lines
He never asked her to
He said he loved her as she was
It turned out he spoke true

©️jane jago

Weekend Wind Down – Longest Night

It was the longest night, and the cold was such that standing still would be a death sentence. There was no snow, but the frost was so deep that the world shone coldly white in the moonlight.
A procession of dark-clad figures marched through the forest, moving in and out of patches of moonlight so they seemed to appear and disappear like demons or frikii. Nothing could be seen of the figures except their silhouettes, as each was clad from head to foot in dark coloured fur, and had a deeply cowled hood obscuring his or her face, and they kept their hands tucked inside the wide sleeves of their robes. Their pace was a measured one, taking into consideration, one has to assume, the smallness of some of the party and the consequent shortness of their legs.
Nobody spoke, and it wasn’t until a dog fox coughed somewhere in the undergrowth that the solemn processional progress of the group was interrupted. A small figure in the centre of the line jumped, and gave voice to an undignified squeak. The figure behind her, reached out a hand and briefly touched her shoulder, for this was surely a young girl by the voice,.
“‘Twas naught but a fox,” the voice was deeply masculine and amused, though not unkindly so.
They fell silent again, and the only sound was the crunching of booted feet on frozen loam. As they came out of the shadow of the trees, the air behind them was rent by a scream. It was the sort of a sound one might associate with an animal in a trap so desolate and fearful was the sound. Only this was not an animal in torment, this voice was human. Each figure in the procession bowed his or her head a little lower, and the leader made a sound of disgust deep in his chest.
“If only we had time…”
“But we do not.” The voice was female and authoritative. “We must keep moving. The lady is almost at her time and she must be somewhere warm.”
The leader shrugged his heavy shoulders and the column moved on.

Far ahead of them, a light appeared on the edge of the next patch of forest. It blinked twice, then was extinguished. The leader of the column looked and his shoulders dropped.
“We have to leave the path. There are soldiers in the forest.”
“The lady will never make it over rough ground.”
“I will make whatever I have to. Lead and I will follow.” The voice was low, and cultured and beautiful.
There being no proper response to such courage except to carry on, the column left the relative smoothness of the forest path and struck out uphill.
It was bad going, and steep, and even the strongest had all they could do not to founder. However, the smallest figure of all remained ramrod straight and even though all her companions felt the effort each step cost her, she gave no sign of her travail. The bulky-shouldered leader, who had been reluctant to set out on such a mission on such a night began to admit in the darkest recesses of his soul that this woman might just be worth the effort.
There was movement in the undergrowth and for a second he thought them betrayed, then the face resolved itself in the brutal moonlight. It was a wide, plain face with strangely green eyes and a bedraggled beard, and it belonged to the hermit whose forest chapel they were aiming for.
“This way,” the man hissed, “the chapel is surrounded”.
The column turned wearily and the hermit led them down a scree-littered slope and along the margins of a frozen river to where a goat track wound its way up the valley. The leader’s heart sunk to his boots at the thought of leading his weary folk up that black thread of track, but their guide made no attempt to climb, turning instead up a steeply cut valley that led, if memory served, to what was a crashing waterfall in most weathers.
Now, of course, the forest was silent save for the laboured breathing of the column of weary walkers.
Just as the leader of the column was beginning to fear at least one of their number would soon founder and have to be left to perish in the cold, the hermit stopped and indicated a narrow crack in the rock wall. Too cold to do anything but trust the big man bent his head and wriggled through. As he popped out of the short narrow passage he felt hands guiding him, passing him from one person to another in the darkness. He seemed to be heading for a patch of less blackness, but not by any direct route. It was not quite so cold in the vowels of the earth, and the air was fresh and sweet. The feeling of guiding hands was reassuring so he just went where they directed. He might have been moving through the dark for ten minutes when a voice spoke quietly.
“Head down seigneur.”
He ducked obligingly and when he could stand again found himself on a dimly lit sandy walkway with rocks on his left and a wall of solid ice on his right. It came to him with a sense of wonder that he was behind the great waterfall and that perhaps his party was even safe.
He came out of the ice passage onto a ledge where a skin-clad figure awaited the figure lifted a perfect curtain of mossy frondy vegetation, and pointed to an arched opening in the hill through which he could dimly discern the glow of firelight.
He went inside, but instead of following the siren call of the warmth he waited for his people to file in. Next to last came the lady, almost being carried by the young man who had insisted on accompanying her from the castle. Her hood had been thrown back and the bones in her face were standing out against the skin as she struggled for breath.
“How long have you been in labour, my lady?”
“Since just before we branched off the forest path.”
As that had been more than two hours by his estimation the leader bent and picked her up in his great arms.
“Come then, let us take you where there is warmth and light.”
In the end there was more than warmth and light, there was food and safety as well.
But as the lady’s pains came swifter, the forest dwellers withdrew leaving only his column around the silently suffering woman. The one other adult female wrung her hands together.
“I know naught of birthing, save that women die of it daily,” she sounded on the very edge of panic.
The young girl who had jumped and squeaked at the bark of a fox stepped forward.
“Don’t be silly. The reason we are here is to make sure nobody dies.”
The older woman was about to round on her when the lady spoke.
“The pains are coming thick and fast now.”
After that the young girl took charge with a calm competence that inspired both admiration and trust, and there, beside a charcoal brazier and on a bed of straw the king’s leman gave birth to the child his lady wife had sworn would never be born. It was a lusty boy, and both mother and child bore the birth well.
Once they were comfortable with the babe asleep in his mother’s arms, the young midwife stepped back.
“How do you come to know so much about childbirth?” the column leader’s question was idle but still demanded an answer.
“I don’t really sir. But the way I saw it it couldn’t be much different from lambing. And nobody else was going to take responsibility.”
The stunned silence was broken by the sound of laughter from the makeshift pallet where the lady lay.
“Perhaps,” she said carefully, “we should call him lamb”.

Forty years later, when the babe born on the longest night ascended to his father’s throne and the priest called out his names to those who would swear fealty the assembled lords and ladies learned that their royal master was to be known as King Rollo Antonius Lamb the First.

Jane Jago

January

January explodes upon the world
With fireworks and cheers
And auld lang syne.
Then creeps she neath her soft blankets
Of snow and mist
Within her house walled with ice
And rooved with frost
And on the casement panes
She prints star patterns,
Draws icicles on eave and gable,
Paints the lawn from green to white
And with bony fingers reaches
Like the leafless trees
To caress the greyness of the sky.

E.M. Swift-Hook

Granny’s Life Hacks – New Year’s Resolutions

I know, even as I sit here with a large glass of something restorative, a new packet of ciggies, and Gyp beside my feet snoring and farting gently, that all around the world there will be people who are beginning 2021 with their good intentions firmed up into New Year’s Resolutions….

*pauses for a large drink and wonders where to begin the diatribe that is burning her brain*

Okay. Here goes.

Whatever possesses anybody with even half  brain to think  drunken promise made to their other half in the pub (in the vain hope of oral gratification) is going to last beyond Tuesday? Worse though are those persons of a prim self-improving mindset who will have written down their plans/resolutions at some time in mid-November. (In my opinion they just need a slap/a life.)

Anyway, whoever you are and whatever you have resolved to do. You. Won’t. Do. It.

The gym membership card will grow dust on the mantelpiece and, by August, you will throw it in the bin thinking wistfully about the amount of  Prosecco/Doom Bar/WHY that seventy-four quid could have bought you.

The packet of ciggies you dramatically threw in the dustbin at 12.01am will be being retrieved and tenderly cleaned before breakfast time.

The jog you set out on will only result in you laying by the footpath bringing up your toenails, while a whole slew of elderly ladies will walk their dogs past you and make no attempt to disguise their mirth. (Some of the dogs will piss on you as you lay there sunk in your own misery. Do not attempt chastisement. Old ladies will set about you with their walking sticks if you abuse Tinkerbell or Fluffy.)

The bicycle you were going to ride to work will appear on Craig’s List before the end of February.

The bread ingredients will just sit in the cupboard until they are so far past their sell by date even my friend Ruby would think twice before ingesting them.

The strange computer thing that you were going to use as an aid to exercise will have become the property of your teenage son/husband and will now be either a golf course or something I wouldn’t pretend to understand – or want to.

And the book on self-improvement (by whatever skinny prune-faced female is currently in fashion) will join hundreds of others in the window of whatever charity shop you hate the most.

So you see, whatever way you cut it, making New Year’s Resolutions is the last resort of the pathetic – and is absofreakinglutely not the way to sort out your life.

Go away and have a proper think about what you need to do, and stop wasting money on crap to make yourself think you are seriously taking charge….

New Year’s Limerick

***

Now that this year is brand new
Time to think what it is you might do
With twelve months that are ripe
You can moan, groan and gripe
Or make more of your life-dreams come true…

***

E.M. Swift-Hook

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