A dictionary for the bemused by Jane Jago…
bibed (noun) – shared sleeping space often mildly smelly
chike (noun) – small bird with a piercing cry and a yellow beak – that leaves behind it the unmistakable odour of burned custard
cycnical (adverb) – of doing chores, to do two minutes hoovering followed by twenty minutes on Twitter
earleir (adverb) – of the insertion of earrings: missing the hole
graet (verb) – to remove hard skin from the toes with abrasive paper
hopig (noun) – sexually indiscriminate sow
midwintert (adjective) – of weather, being cold and with the sort of fog you can chew
miselry (verb) – pertaining to singing the poking of one finger in the ear whilst harmonising
oment (noun) – phenomenon similar to a crop circle, occurring in baked beans and portending ill luck for short red-haired women
reain (verb) – of colonials rediscovering their Caledonian roots
relif (noun) – raised pattern on ankles caused by too-tight socks
sensibel (adjective) – of shoes both practical and pretty
supermatket (noun) – very absorbent doormat available in kit form from a very famous retailer of kits
unfortuante (noun) – maiden aunt with a very good moustache and halitosis
welld (verb) – to repair stuff with a hot glue gun (badly)
Disclaimer: all these words are genuine typos defined by Jane Jago. The source of each is withheld to protect the guilty.
Brilliant, as usual…
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