… or ‘How To Speak Typo’ by Jane Jago
atate (adjective) – looking as if it has been chewed by a rodent
arpmit (noun) – fireproof glove used in World War Two
bugnee (noun) – leg joint of a beetle
doungut (noun) – hefty stomach often the result of eating too many doughnuts
eflephant (noun) – profane pachyderm
garvity (noun) – body weight in a swimming pool that has a high concentration of p*** in the water
juist (noun) – fight club for dyslexic knights
kagewl (noun) – Australian raincoat
laibel (noun) – itchy scratchy thing in the neckline of overpriced middle-management shirt
macntosh (noun) – badly assembled macaroni cheese
maitain (noun) – cocktail made from white rum and suntan lotion
nuppel (adjective) – bendy, but prone to rashes
oange (noun) – fruit with something missing
preogress (noun) – ancestor of Shrek (female)
qieen (noun) – yet another middle class rice substitute (this one tastes like rugby changing rooms smell)
restrong (noun) – middle class eating house
stgate (noun) – church entrance
tset (verb) – to examine straitly
ubra (noun) – something to give your chest a lift
Disclaimer: all these words are genuine typos defined by Jane Jago. The source of each is withheld to protect the guilty.
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