… or ‘How To Speak Typo’ by Jane Jago
ahrd (noun) – inconvenient erection
down’t (adjective) – pale and needy as in children and rejected lovers
greay (adjective) – of civil servants, properly impassive
editititing (verb) – titting about when you should be editing
flookingorward (verb) – catching flatfish with a pole
garcen (noun) – french child with a speech impediment
goig (noun) – zit on the end of the nose
manged (adjective) – of old men looking like a dog with a skin disease
miseray (noun) – a bloke called Raymond in a bad mood
prominenet (noun) – contrivance for collecting hormones from urine
ratehr (noun) – bossy person who works in ‘human resources’
sceince (noun) – calling up the spirits of the dead by means of the microwave oven
specail (noun) – vegetable with the colour and texture of vomit
tidey (adjective) – prone to the influence of the moon
waery (adjective) – of hair, prone to spring out at unflattering angles
Disclaimer: all these words are genuine typos defined by Jane Jago. The source of each is withheld to protect the guilty.
Bwahahaha!!! I love these typo definitions!
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