… or ‘How To Speak Typo’ by Jane Jago
ahd (acronym) – absolutely horrible dandruff
bastrad (noun) – asshole whose parents have disowned him
brather (noun) – inconsequential conversation with male relative
cncetrating (verb form) – of jelly to set very firm
colun (noun) – printer’s symbol indicating the above is gobbledygook print as it stands
delive (noun) – technical term for murder
ebfore (noun) – very low tide
fdribblingrom (noun) – the mouth of a very drunk person
fudhe (adjective) – squishy and smelling faintly of old underwear
grwon (noun) – supernatural being almost always invisible but discernible at all times by its galloping halitosis
hopefulyl (noun) – optimistic alien
hosemate (noun) – person who swings a mean length of rubber pipe
ireonic (adjective) – of facial expressions, annoyed in a long-suffering manner
irritaes (noun) – annoyed rodents with very sharp teeth
kake (noun) – strange green dessert made from honey and cabbage
lvoe (noun) – small furry armpit parasite
maoment (noun) – unit of time falling anywhere between twenty seconds and an hour as in ‘I’ll do it in a maoment’
migth (adjective) – applied generally to children – meaning small, pale, and given to developing strange illnesses
numer (noun) – bloke who sniffs dirty laundry
orefer (noun) – yellow bird with pink feet and an attitude problem
somethme (noun) – occasional herb
Disclaimer: all these words are genuine typos defined by Jane Jago. The source of each is withheld to protect the guilty.
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