Because life can be interesting when you are a character in a video game…

Milla watched the fight, wondering what to do. She couldn’t let Glory kill String or String kill Glory and if she didn’t do something one of the two was going to go down. Pew was still shouting at them both to just stop fighting, but neither was listening. Neither was paying her any attention either.
Without giving it much thought she grabbed at String from behind, hoping to trip him up so he could be subdued before Glory did him any real damage. But he ducked as she grabbed and instead of catching at his clothing she was gripping the tiara. As String sidestepped she pulled it away and the dwarf let out a horrible scream, dropping the axe and falling to his knees sobbing.
“No! No! No! You’ve made it all end. I want to stay here…. Nooooo!”
The kneeling figure shimmered briefly then seemed to suck in to a single point of light and disappear.
There was a sudden and terrible silence. Then Pew spoke, his voice shaky.
“Are there any volcanoes around here? I think we need to find one to throw that… that thing you’re holding in.”
Milla looked down at the tiara and let go instantly. It had changed from being a golden crown into a writhing black band of…? Milla really didn’t care to know and certainly wasn’t going to study it closely enough to see. Glory reached down and scooped it up in her armoured fist.
“I think I know just the crack of doom for this, leave it to me.”
Milla wanted to say she wasn’t sure that was a very good idea, but Pew was there and hugging her.
“Did we save String?” she asked.
“I think we did. You did.”
“Well thanks for the group,” Glory said, still holding the black crown. “It was certainly different. I’m out. Running late for raid. They’re already forming up, so using my home-stone.”
“I don’t think…” Milla began, but before she could finish Glory had vanished.
“Let’s get back to WBS,” Pew said. “I’ll use my ring of recall. Just hold on tight and…”
The world flashed out of existence and back again. From being a weirdly glowing blue the light was bright and sunny. A palm tree waved overhead and there, right in front of them was her house.
She was home.
They were home.
Milla was suddenly very certain she never wanted to go on a venture ever again.

Two days later, sitting on the beach with Pew throwing sticks for Ruffkin, she was already not so sure about that. There was something about ventures. Perhaps they were addictive.
“String is fine. Seems he thinks he just got very drunk and hallucinated. Sent me a load of in game messages describing this dream he had about you and me rescuing him. I didn’t bother to say anything different.”
“And Glory? Did she get rid of that..that thing?”
Pew shrugged.
“Well that’s the odd thing. She’s not been in game since. I’ve asked around but no one seems to know what’s happened to her.”
Despite the warmth of the day Milla shivered and moved closer to Pew who put an arm around her.
“I’m just glad we’ve got each other,” he said and kissed her gently.

And that is the story so far in Wrathburnt Sands by E.M. Swift-Hook. Next Sunday there will be a new serial. We are off on the high seas with the never before published fantasy adventure The Pirate and the Don by Jane Jago.

Return to Wrathburnt Sands was first published in Rise and Rescue Volume 2: Protect and Recover.

Hail the harrowed pumpkin!
Tormented, scraped and cut,
Your entrails ripped out from within,
To bake pies with your guts.

Hail the hallowed pumpkin!
Thy glorious grinning face,
Carved from the orange of your skull,
Brings grim mirth to this place.

Hail the hollowed pumpkin!
Upon the doorstep set
Your eldritch light and feral look
Will guard the household yet.

Hail the hero pumpkin!
When brightly lit your grin
Doth scare and freet uncanny beasts
And keep us safe within.

E.M. Swift-Hook

If you are looking for a good spooky read with other short stories and poems to get you in the Halloween mood today you should pick up Haunted: The Sparkly Badgers’ Anthology which is free to download. 

The voice outside changed tack, instead of screaming insults it became smooth and insinuating. “Jenny, Jenny. You know you can’t hide from me. And you know you have to be punished.”
Jenny felt herself wilting as the promise of a life back in his hands, pressed down on her like a pair of clammy claws and pulled every inch of resistance out of her soul. She lay her head on the table and all she could understand was the slow burn of tears leaking from her eyes. Mike bent over her.
“That isn’t happening, Jenny love. My word on it. You just stay there and I’ll send him on his way with a flea in his ear.”
Even in extremis she needed to warn Mike so she forced her voice to work. “Be careful. He’s dangerous.”
“When it comes to your safety, so am I.”
He went out, walking purposefully, and Jenny heard him open the door. She listened
“Yes?”
For a moment there was no response.
“I’m looking for my wife.”
“Your what?”
“My…. My ex-wife.”
“Ex isn’t the same as yours.”
Jenny could all but see Graham puffing himself up for attack, and she was rather surprised when he said nothing. She was beginning to hope he would just go away when he spoke again.
“Look. I don’t know who you are but you shouldn’t be taken in by Miss Innocent Jenny. She isn’t what she seems at all…”
Mike broke in and his voice was full of cold contempt.
“If I was you, I’d leave right now. While you can. You are contemptible and I am finding it very hard not to beat you to a pulp.”
The sound of a siren announced the imminent arrival of the police and Jenny rather thought Graham would make a run for it. He didn’t, though, and she could hear the hideously familiar sound of his heavy breathing as he worked himself up into a rage.
“You just tell her from me that she shouldn’t ever sleep soundly, because I will get her. And this time it’ll be her face. I’ll gladly do the time to ruin her like she ruined me. See how you like her when I mark her face…”
He stopped abruptly, making a peculiar whinnying noise instead of further spreading his poison.
“Shut up, you bastard. You might not be afraid of prison, but you should be afraid of me.”
There was silence save for the sound of heavy breathing and then a car stopping in the road. The clump clump of deliberate footsteps sounded on the path and an unfamiliar voice spoke.
“Ah. We’ve been looking for this gentleman. He’s already broken his parole conditions, and now this. He’s just booked himself a taxi straight back to prison. Thanks for finding him.”
“You’re entirely welcome.”
There was the sound of a scuffle.
“Keep still, will you…. Okay. Drop him.”
The high keening noise that was Graham’s reaction to not getting his own way went on for quite a while. Eventually, Jenny could only assume he had been subdued as the noise subsided.
“Okay. On your feet.”
Just as Jenny thought she might be able to breathe again, Graham fired his Parthian shot.
“Just remember if you do get my dear wife into bed, she likes a bit of pain with her pleasure. Comes really hard if you throttle her.”
The sounds from outside became confused then, but Jenny couldn’t compute them anyway. All she could think was that Graham was going to win again with his lies that everyone believed. A few words had poisoned her life and plunged her back into the grey fog of hopelessness. That bright chimera of hope she had been allowing herself to feel at last had been extinguished by the same lie that had driven her from her home. She could barely draw breath for the lancing pain in her chest, and somehow it didn’t seem to matter anyway.
She wasn’t aware of crawling into the corner of the kitchen, but she mush have done so, because when she came to herself there was a pair of denim-clad legs in her eyeline. Mike bent down and put out a hand. At first she cringed away, expecting a blow, or a gesture of repudiation. He did neither thing. Instead he laid that gentle hand on her cheek.
“Oh. Jenny love. Don’t cry so.”
It was only then that Jenny realised she was shaking like a wet kitten, while her whole body was racked by shattering sobs. Looking into his face she saw nothing but caring concern and when he held out his arms she crawled into his embrace like a child in search of comfort.
He stood up with her still in his arms and carried her over to where he could sit down on the floor in a patch of sunshine. Jenny hadn’t known she had so many tears left in her, but it felt like some sort of release to let it all out so she laid her face against the softness of his t-shirt and just cried. He said nothing, and nor did he move except to gently stroke her back.
When the worst of the storm had passed she lifted her face and tried for a smile.
“Sorry Mike.”
He shook his head. “You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s that piece of ordure should be sorry, but I don’t think he is.”
“No. He’s not wired to feel remorse. Even if he gets caught out in wrongdoing, in his mind it’s always somebody else’s fault.”
She moved to get off Mike’s lap and he let her go. When she stood up he uncurled himself from the floor and stood beside her, although he was obviously being careful not to intrude on her personal space. Somehow Jenny didn’t want that, so she walked back into his arms.
Tilting her head, she looked into his worried eyes.
“Thank you. I think I must have been needing that meltdown for a long time, because I actually feel stronger for it.” Then she said the thing that had to be said. “I’ll understand if it’s all too much and you need to step away from me.”
He just wrapped his arms tighter around her. “Not happening, Jenny love. I’m here. And here I’ll stick.” He rubbed his face in her hair. “Do you want to tell me about it?”
“I want to try. How about coffee in the sitting room, where we can sit on the sofa and talk? I think if you cuddle me I can be brave enough to tell you all the things you need to know.”
So it was that they sat cuddled together on Jenny’s big sofa and she said a lot of things she he had never said before.

Jenny is the latest book from Jane Jago

Why do you send your babies out
Crying trick or treat?
Do you truly think it safe
For children on the street?
When all around the air is full
Of things not kind or sweet
As from the earth the dead things rise
A gibbous moon to greet
Things that touch their chubby hands
And trip their little feet
Things that want to suck their souls
And eat their brains like meat
This is the night of the living dead
Who only wish to cheat
And steal away the children
Left to wander in the street

©️JaneJago

Listen to Granny because Granny always knows best!

Now I have your attention, let’s think about Halloween.
The night when, according to superstition, the veil between here and wherever is at its thinnest. So what do people do? They dress little Testosterone and Menopause in ‘supernatural’ costumes and they send them out to knock on the front doors of total strangers crying ‘twick or tweet’.
In what alternative universe is that a good idea?
Has nobody read Hansel and Gretel?
The opportunity for deeply disturbing adult behaviour is there for all to see. But no. What does the great British public do? It opens its fricking door and dispenses sweeties willy nilly.
Then, just as you are fifty quid lighter for the night, and at last even the most persistent of winkie has been put to bed, the door knocking becomes rougher in character and the local teenage males come out to do a bit of extortion – with menaces.
These bastards don’t bother to even pretend they are in costume, and they really won’t be satisfied with a mini Mars bar. Mostly they want ciggies or beer, although one or two will expect a fiver in their greasy palms in order that they won’t throw eggs and flour at your front door, or accidentally key your car, or tie a firework to your cat’s tail.
From the depths of my armchair this seems too close to blackmail to be acceptable, and I determined to put an end to such behaviour once and for all.
I am in the fortunate position of: one – being wholly nerveless; two – having more hefty grandsons and nephews than you could shake a shitty stick at,
Conceive of the scene, my friends, local thugs beat a tattoo on elderly lady’s front door. It opens with an eerie creak and a huge figure with a gimp mask stands in a sulphurously lit hallway.
“I’ve been waiting for you,” it says in a voice like a winter hailstorm. “Do come in…”
Exit thugs stage left. Pursued by creatures whose faces gleam green in the streetlights.
We don’t see trick or treaters after dark these days…

He expected to live his life a widower. But the elders thought differently, so he found himself a reluctant participant at the church door, with the innkeeper’s plain daughter at his side.

Once married, they walked towards his home in frigid silence. When they were almost at the door she put a timid hand on his arm.

“I’m sorry.”

He looked at her obvious misery and felt ashamed.

“Not your fault.” He took her hands in his. “Shall we make what we can of this.”

She searched his face with her eyes. “Yes please.”

They found friendship and laughter together.

©️JaneJago

“May I come in then?”
She buried her face in the flowers. “I guess you’d better, because I’ll ever be able to eat all I cooked on my own.”
A smile awoke the crows feet at the corners of his eyes. “I’m all about helping damsels in distress.”
“Eejit. Come in and sit quietly while I find a vase for my flowers.”
He followed obediently, although she got the distinct impression he was right on the edge of the giggles. In the kitchen she put her flowers on the worktop and turned to face him with her hands on her hips.
“Okay, buster, what’s so funny?”
“Me being bossed about by a woman who barely reaches my chin. And liking it.”
“Do you actually like it, Mike? Or are you humouring me?”
“Oh I like it right enough. I love the sass about you when you are putting me in my place. Besides which, I’d never patronise you by pretending.”
Jenny felt as if another corner of her frozen heart melted but she occupied herself putting the flowers in water rather than think about that.
When she was satisfied she carried the vase into her sunny sitting room. Mike made no attempt to follow her. Instead he stood at the french doors looking out at her tiny, chaotic garden.
“I like that,” he said as she came back into the kitchen.
“Like what?”
“That lovely little bit of jungle in the city.”
She went to stand beside him. “When I moved in here it was a perfectly respectable lawn with regimented flower beds around the edges. Took me most of the time I’ve been here, but now I can fancy myself out in the fields when I sit out here of any evening. And the wildlife loves it. It’s a good job my landlord’s amenable.”
“No conditions about mowing the lawn every Sunday then?”
“No. But there wouldn’t be. It’s my dad. Or, to be more accurate, it’s Ford Farm.” He said nothing, so she ploughed on. “I came out of my marriage with bugger all, and the need to escape from all the nasty rumours my ex engineered. Dad and Mum bought this house and renovated it for me. Then I got a job with a firm in the city. The rest, as they say, is history.”
Mike smiled down at her. “The layout of the house is really good. How much did you have to do to get it like this?”
Jenny was silently grateful that he chose not to pick her up on coming out of her marriage with nothing, and delighted to be able to talk about the house and the work it had taken to get it to her liking. She grabbed his hand and dragged him all around the downstairs, pointing out where walls had come down and how the thing had evolved. He was obviously fascinated and when she had run out of steam he had a lot of very sensible questions.
“Come and eat. We can carry on talking while we stuff our faces.”
Maybe they didn’t quite stuff themselves, but between talking and laughing, and squabbling about house layouts they managed to get outside of a pretty impressive pile of roast chicken.
Jenny was just making noises about pavlova when there came a thunderous knocking on the front door, accompanied by what sounded like someone kicking the stout wood.
“Who the heck?”
Just as she was about to go see who was responsible for this rude intrusion, a voice made itself heard.
“Open the door you filthy whore. I know you’re in there.”
Immediately, Jenny was back in the place where nothing she ever did was good enough, and the pain was all but physical. Mike must have noticed her suddenly pinched features because he spoke with careful neutrality.
“Your ex?”
Jenny managed to nod her head, and the concern on Mike’s face enabled her to force a rusty whisper from her mouth.
“I knew he was out of prison, on licence, but I never dreamed.” For a second she could say no more for the constriction in her throat, but some reserve of courage she didn’t even know she possessed came to her aid. “He shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t know I live here. And even if he managed to find out there’s a restraining order. He isn’t allowed within five miles of me.”
Mike walked around the table and stood behind her. He was close enough for her to lean into his strength if she wanted, but not so close as to crowd her. He handed her his phone.
“Call triple nine love. He sounds like a bloody maniac.”
Jenny called, grateful to have someone else do the thinking for her. A police presence was promised immediately and she could relax a little.

Jenny is the latest book from Jane Jago

Zraxy’ct had wanted to be an alien archaeologist from the time she had squaddled out of the brooding chamber. She had gained the right knowledge nodes to be accepted into the chosen clutch of those training for that elite career.

Now she was undertaking a course on one alien culture and its as yet untranslated languages. There was an odd broken circle symbol found everywhere thought to show generative power. It was clear to Zraxy’ct what the elements of it represented. The very obvious fact it showed a symbolic penetrative sex act was the basis of her acclaimed final thesis.

E.M. Swift-Hook

… or ‘How To Speak Typo’ by Jane Jago

ahd (acronym) – absolutely horrible dandruff

bastrad (noun) – asshole whose parents have disowned him

brather (noun) – inconsequential conversation with male relative

cncetrating (verb form) – of jelly to set very firm

colun (noun) – printer’s symbol indicating the above is gobbledygook print as it stands

delive (noun) – technical term for murder

ebfore (noun) – very low tide

fdribblingrom (noun) – the mouth of a very drunk person

fudhe (adjective) – squishy and smelling faintly of old underwear

grwon (noun) – supernatural being almost always invisible but discernible at all times by its galloping halitosis

hopefulyl (noun) – optimistic alien

hosemate (noun) – person who swings a mean length of rubber pipe

ireonic (adjective) – of facial expressions, annoyed in a long-suffering manner

irritaes (noun) – annoyed rodents with very sharp teeth

kake (noun) – strange green dessert made from honey and cabbage

lvoe (noun) – small furry armpit parasite

maoment (noun) – unit of time falling anywhere between twenty seconds and an hour as in ‘I’ll do it in a maoment’

migth (adjective) – applied generally to children – meaning small, pale, and given to developing strange illnesses

numer (noun) – bloke who sniffs dirty laundry

orefer (noun) – yellow bird with pink feet and an attitude problem

somethme (noun) – occasional herb

Disclaimer: all these words are genuine typos defined by Jane Jago. The source of each is withheld to protect the guilty.

“It’s a long way up.”
“It’ll be worth it when we get to the top,” he promised.
“But what’s up there?”
He wouldn’t say, just laughing and tugging her along in his wake.
When they reached the top of the hill she looked around in bemusement. It was just another hilltop. Then he turned her so she was looking at a stand of trees and a white stone that stood among them.
“Sacred to the memory of Arthur Merryweather,” she read.
The sudden tears filled her eyes.
“Oh. You’ve found it. After all these years. You found my dad’s grave…”

©️Jane Jago