Mrs Jago’s Handy Guide to the Meaning Behind Typographical Errors XXXVII

… or ‘How To Speak Typo’ by Jane Jago

ahs sing (noun) – extremely melodious fart

amradidlo (noun) – country song about onanism 

bargrh (noun) – posh barbecue food

fbelievableront (adjective) – of dragons and the like having quirks of personality that make them readable

fraft (noun) – sliced cheese of dubious origins, having a strange odour and an oddly mottled appearance

griness (adjective) – of bread being flabby and of a strange colour

jumipr (noun) – woollen garment smelling vaguely of gin

nayway (noun) – street where only those in the know dare go

ompire (noun) – person qualified to officiate at many sports

peopel (noun) – a peephole in a front door as installed by an idiot where the hole on the outside is an inch below the hole in the inside

qaurrle (noun) – arrow fired by Cupid in an attempt to undo one of his unlikelier  pairings 

resonse (noun) – the chair you kept for the bloke that never showed up

tdrippingap (noun) – computer program for hay fever sufferers

wriitng (noun) – sarcastic grin – of the sort usually aimed at door-to-door salespersons and evangelists

yhen (noun) – curious chicken

zegra (noun) – horse wearing a stripy jumper

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