Mrs Jago’s Handy Guide to the Meaning Behind Typographical Errors Part XXXVI

… or ‘How To Speak Typo’ by Jane Jago

ashsole (noun) – bottom of a clog

attentin (adjective ) – when used to describe standing indicates a slipshod attempt at uprightness. As in: the guard’s attentin stance was clearly indicative of a wish to be elsewhere

barve (verb) – to vomit at high velocity 

befe (adjective) – muscular but not necessarily intelligent 

barzillion (adjective) – of pubic hair having the appearance of having been cut with a knife and fork 

chesee (adjective) – being possessed of large and obviously fake breasts

davish (adjective) – prone to laugh at one’s own jokes

galnd (noun) – hard bogey stuck in much-used handkerchief 

greese (noun) – goose fat

haircat (noun) – member of any one of an almost infinite number of tribute bands

huming (verb) – the noise made by a haircat trying to sound like Mick Jagger

jma (acronym) – juicy male athlete

prevert (noun) – the stage before sexual misconduct 

snoze (adjective) – asleep and snoring with one’s mouth ajar

wanj (noun) – a small, pale being who always has at least one hand in his pocket

weethe (verb) – to wriggle in what one vainly hopes is a sensuous manner

wonam (noun) – confused female

xcrap (adjective) – bad porn

zrbra (noun) – the largest size of brassiere