Listen to Granny because Granny always knows best!
Ladies of a certain age/type get right on my norks. You know the ones I mean, those whose sneezes sound like a tiny cricket chirping, and who would die of embarrassment if they farted alone in an empty room.
I know I scare the snot out of these mimsy little ladies and doing so is a source of constant delight.
If you don’t believe what fun it can be, sneak up behind a maiden lady in a queue and announce that your arse itches.
Cruel. But deserved for every uncharitable thought she will have hidden behind her lace hanky…