Plumber

There once was a plumber who was so crappy
And the name of the plumber was Mister Happy
He sent round a man for a hundred pound
Who didn’t know his arse from a hole in the ground

Soon may the plumber come
Sits in his van with his finger up his bum
Whatever you ask him to do
He will mess it up for you

He started a job then he went away
And the water ran down the walls all day
And when he returned he looked in your eye
And said your problem was not I

Soon may the plumber come
Sits in his van with his finger up his bum
Whatever you ask him to do
He will mess it up for you

He’s never on time and he’s never at home
And nobody ever answers the phone
The only thing that is not late
Is the bloody bill that’s right on date

Soon may the plumber come
Sits in his van with his finger up his bum
Whatever you ask him to do
He will mess it up for you

©jj 2021

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