Pearls of wisdom from an octogenarian who’s seen it all…
Coyly euphemistic advertisement speak
What the heck is, ‘Itching Down There’?
Is it scratchy anus time?
Does it indicate something stirring in the lady garden (okay itchyfanny)?
If the advertiser of the cream known only by number means itchyfanny why don’t they bloody say so, not make me think the whole of Australia has impetigo.
And while I have your attention. What the fuck is ‘feminine leakage’?
Is it menstrual fluid, or maybe urine? But it can be neither as it’s blue. (Hint: if you are leaking something blue seek medical aid. Now!)
Stop sending me Viagra adverts. I. Don’t. Need. It.