Brian was not much of a one for natural beauty. His view on rainbows, spoken often and at volume whenever they were mentioned, crushed their loveliness down to prismatic splitting of the visible light spectrum. He held that flowers were simply the reproductive organs of plants and offended many a hostess asking if she would display her own genitalia with such abandon.
After receiving the rainbow lecture, his seven year old niece sent him an email addressed to ‘Uncle Brain’.
He wrote back waspishly: Learn to spell!
“I can spell,” she told him. “It is you who’s missing the magic.”