Mrs Jago’s Handy Guide to the Meaning Behind Typographical Errors. Part XXIV

…. or ‘How To Speak Typo’ by Jane Jago

aoid (noun) – egg-shaped monocellular organism that smells faintly of vomit

atke (noun) – bright orange sandwich filling that smells suspiciously like yesterday’s dinner mushed with a fork

babry cream (noun) – ointment for under tit soreness

chouce (adjective) – of chocolate brownies the squidgiest most delicious bit

Freake Dout (proper noun) small Appalachian village famous for sourdough whiskey and revolting cheese

frysrtarting (verb) – heating up  the chip pan in preparation for frying pop tarts

hubting (noun) – the sound of a very expensive alloy wheel graunching against the pavement

hysical (adjective) – of teenage girls  in particular being in the state where hysteria is going to have them lash out any second

migth (noun) – small buzzing insect with a powerful sting. Lives on fish cakes and Irn Bru

papberback (noun) – male gorilla with identity issues

pepict (adjective) – having the colouration and texture of the cheeks of a person about to projectile vomit

remmeberd (noun) – spectacularly unkempt facial hair

serices (noun) – speciality rice dishes from south-east Asia

shepherherds pir (noun) – a small light that can only be brought on by chasing shepherds past it

thinng (noun) – the sound a flexible knife blade makes when flicked against a glass chopping board

trilogoes (noun) – a company or brand utilising three logos

withing (verb) – being wriggling and wormlike and prone to self-adhesion

Disclaimer: all these words are genuine typos defined by Jane Jago. The source of each is withheld to protect the guilty.

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