…. or ‘How To Speak Typo’ by Jane Jago
aoid (noun) – egg-shaped monocellular organism that smells faintly of vomit
atke (noun) – bright orange sandwich filling that smells suspiciously like yesterday’s dinner mushed with a fork
babry cream (noun) – ointment for under tit soreness
chouce (adjective) – of chocolate brownies the squidgiest most delicious bit
Freake Dout (proper noun) small Appalachian village famous for sourdough whiskey and revolting cheese
frysrtarting (verb) – heating up the chip pan in preparation for frying pop tarts
hubting (noun) – the sound of a very expensive alloy wheel graunching against the pavement
hysical (adjective) – of teenage girls in particular being in the state where hysteria is going to have them lash out any second
migth (noun) – small buzzing insect with a powerful sting. Lives on fish cakes and Irn Bru
papberback (noun) – male gorilla with identity issues
pepict (adjective) – having the colouration and texture of the cheeks of a person about to projectile vomit
remmeberd (noun) – spectacularly unkempt facial hair
serices (noun) – speciality rice dishes from south-east Asia
shepherherds pir (noun) – a small light that can only be brought on by chasing shepherds past it
thinng (noun) – the sound a flexible knife blade makes when flicked against a glass chopping board
trilogoes (noun) – a company or brand utilising three logos
withing (verb) – being wriggling and wormlike and prone to self-adhesion
Disclaimer: all these words are genuine typos defined by Jane Jago. The source of each is withheld to protect the guilty.
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