…. or ‘How To Speak Typo’ by Jane Jago
afert (noun) – Egyptian goddess of typos
anywya (noun) – a strangely compelling haircut that looks like a haystack. Other haircuts are available to politicians but this one seems to work best
beign (adjective) – of underwear that peculiarly greyish beige that comes from many washes with the black sock that always sneaks into the machine
efort (noun) – safe storage for your computer
ehr (interjection) – the noise made by certain politicians when they can’t answer a simple question
exewrcise (group noun) – a bitchfest of yummy mummies with iPhones strapped to their skinny arms competing fiercely for who has the cutest running shorts
itisi (adverb) – of walking giving the appearance of having the cheeks of one’s bum tied together
londong (noun) estuarine penis
peopel (group noun) – a crowd of middle-aged women busily being outraged by modern life
slive (noun) – the piece left at the end of the cake from which the dog has licked the icing
stange (noun) – the smell of hair singeing
umbiquitous (adjective) – unsure whether or not one is omnipresent
viloence (noun) – the sound made by a female cat when she is looking for a mate
Disclaimer: all these words are genuine typos defined by Jane Jago. The source of each is withheld to protect the guilty.
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