Mrs Jago’s Handy Guide to the Meaning Behind Typographical Errors. Part XXIII

…. or ‘How To Speak Typo’ by Jane Jago

afert (noun) – Egyptian goddess of typos

anywya (noun) – a strangely compelling haircut that looks like a haystack. Other haircuts are available to politicians but this one seems to work best

beign (adjective) – of underwear that peculiarly greyish beige that comes from many washes with the black sock that always sneaks into the machine

efort (noun) – safe storage for your computer

ehr (interjection) – the noise made by certain politicians when they can’t answer a simple question

exewrcise (group noun) – a bitchfest of yummy mummies with iPhones strapped to their skinny arms competing fiercely for who has the cutest running shorts

itisi (adverb) – of walking giving the appearance of having the cheeks of one’s bum tied together

londong (noun) estuarine penis

peopel (group noun) – a crowd of middle-aged women busily being outraged by modern life

slive (noun) – the piece left at the end of the cake from which the dog has licked the icing

stange (noun) – the smell of hair singeing

umbiquitous (adjective) – unsure whether or not one is omnipresent

viloence (noun) – the sound made by a female cat when she is looking for a mate

Disclaimer: all these words are genuine typos defined by Jane Jago. The source of each is withheld to protect the guilty.

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