Mrs Jago’s Handy Guide to the Meaning Behind Typographical Errors. Part XVIII

…. or ‘How To Speak Typo’ by Jane Jago

almsot (noun) – drunkard reliant on charitable donations to survive

bocan (noun) – pork-based sandwich filling

kund (noun) – well intentioned goat

mascarpine (noun) – soft cheese flavoured with disinfectant 

masocpic (noun) – a selfie taken whilst trying to pluck nostril hairs

na dback (adverb) – of marching, being persistently out of step 

parilment (noun) – collection of geezers getting fat on the sweat of others’ brows

prseit (noun) – confused clergy person with a magnificent moustache

pupit (noun) – a small mammal with sharp, yellow teeth and galloping halitosis

sopt (adjective) – of festival goers, soaked, normally with urine

stoy (noun) – text speak for dildo

tracjetory (noun) – path taken by drunk person when forcefully ejected from public house

understaoof (adjective) – of cardigans and woolly jumpers being covered in greyish beige bobbly bits irrespective of the original colour of the garment

wikkid (adjective) – of sheep having unusually aggressive attitude 

yar (noun) – mispronunciation of the word year promulgated by your TV Royal Correspondent

Disclaimer: all these words are genuine typos defined by Jane Jago. The source of each is withheld to protect the guilty.

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