Mrs Jago’s Handy Guide to the Meaning Behind Typographical Errors: Part XVI

…. or ‘How To Speak Typo’ by Jane Jago

abotu (noun) – tribe of directionally challenged nomads

amind (noun) – the inability to think

beign (noun) – colour between beige and green often seen in the cardigans of off-duty geography teachers

bif (adjective) – descriptive of overweight men on gymnasium equipment

cotrive (verb) – cooperative toe sucking

doign (noun) – in architecture a big fat lump of stone serving no apparent purpose

ealier (comparative adjective) – of fish, longer

ewere (noun) – computer savvy half wolf

godness (noun) – pagan deity known for shortness of temper and thick ankles

irrlevent (adjective) – of authors motivated by angst and poverty

migth (noun) – biting insect similar to the Scottish midge, but native to the underwear of skinny women

myslef (noun) – small supernatural being with chronic anxiety

ne4ed (adjective) – being in possession of four knees

otu (noun) – Zimbabwean marsupial subsisting on beer and rich tea biscuits

presetner (noun) – woman on daytime TV who sits on the sofa next to an oily creep without cringing

pruruent (adjective) – of porridge being flavoured with prunes

shulk (verb) – to remove the calloused skin from the feet by means of a handy cheese grater

someoen (adjective) – of dogs or women, fond of an afternoon nap and liable to bite if rudely awoken

terhe (noun) – language spoken by the inhabitants of a small island in the North Sea whose attempts to enlarge the gene pool have led to some unfortunate encounters with irritated marsupials

zomie (noun) – a zed list homie

Disclaimer: all these words are genuine typos defined by Jane Jago. The source of each is withheld to protect the guilty.

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