He was the youngest of six. There was Brutal Brian, Bestial Brendan, Bitchy Barbara, Boisterous Bill, Beautiful Belinda – and Bashful Bernard.
He was a kind shortsighted chap who blushed and stammered whenever he caught the scent of a stranger.
In desperation, his parents signed him up for a course of Shark Speed Dating.
“How does this work?” he asked the perky female on the door.
She smiled toothily. “If a female doesn’t try to eat your face you are compatible.”
Bernard joined the queue, behind a handsome fellow called Graham.
An hour later they swam off together, fin in fin.