He was the handsomest man of his generation and he had every intention of staying that way. He watched his diet, exercised wisely, and eschewed alcohol and tobacco. It paid off as his face adorned a thousand thousand billboards, and his six pack was familiar to every female everywhere.
Even with fame and fortune, he remained modest and endearingly polite.
Try as they might, the gossip columnists and muckraking bloggers could find nothing to his detriment.
One blogger cornered him.
“Why are you so fucking nice?” she snarled.
He bent to her ear.
“Because I have a very small dick.”