.... or 'How To Speak Typo' by Jane Jago
arspittle (noun) – where premiership footballers go to get their metatarsals fixed
brosom (adjective) – the unyielding and motionless quality of silicone breast implants
chuklit (noun) – disposable books of dubious literary merit usually featuring headless torsos on the covers
coffy (adjective) – needing to clear the throat by means if the application of hot caffeine
concensus (noun) – believing that all statistics are lies
eht (noun) – small insect that enters typing fingers and causes error
hink (verb) – the action of scratching the genitalia (to be accurate most usually the scrotum) whilst searching for inspiration
huffler (noun) – one who precedes every remark with a loud harrumph
ratehr (noun) – rodent in line to inherit
sepnsive (adjective) – given to looking into the middle distance and sighing
shoul (noun) – knitted garment worn by those unable to take decisions
steert (verb) – the way a drunk walks along a road
suasgae (noun) – Celtic dance performed over two crossed bratwurst
vanaship (noun) – motorised caravan with amphibious capabilities
wrte (past participle of the verb to wrt) – having written a page to edit it down to half a paragraph and three obscene references
Disclaimer: all these words are genuine typos defined by Jane Jago. The source of each is withheld to protect the guilty.
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