How To Start Writing A Book – Out Today

How To Start Writing A Book, the worst ever 'how to write' book, has escaped from the pages of this blog and become a real ebook. Read IVy's advice with editorial comments on each blog piece by his mother. Jacintha. All courtesy of E.M. Swift-Hook and Jane Jago.

The Prologue

One greets one’s adoring fans for whose benefit this volume of bon mots upon the topic of How to Write A Book is being placed in the public domain.

These epistles of wisdom to you, a Reader Who Writes, began in the summer of 2017 when one kindly offered one’s services to The Working Title Blog. Week by week, the esoteric arcane mysteries of the literary art were unfolded for the elucidation of a growing number of adoring fans. Week by week one poured spirit, heart and soul into the project, sharing one’s most intimate moments and best kept secrets.

Then, in a tumultuous series of events, it was over! The course of lessons were complete and whilst they linger yet in the ether of the interwebs, they are separated and hard to find. So, in an act of unmerited generosity one decided to seek out each blog post, pluck it fresh and blooming still and collect all together into a single volume.

One has now moved on to another literary guide aimed at those for whom even this book may be too advanced, but enough on that, you may find out more about it by reading my regular updates on The Working Title Blog.

For now, set aside your other thoughts and preoccupation and sit at the feet of the master. Take notes, for there will be questions!

Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV


It’s me, Moon’s mum or should I say IVy’s mum as he prefers to be known that way. It’s just as well I caught him in the act on this one. I was enjoying the last of the summer with a jug of sangria in the garden and he had been scribbling away on his tablet on a lounger in the shade. When he went for a piss I sneaked a peek at what he was working on and nearly choked on a slice of orange when I saw. Bad enough he’s been inflicting his shite on those misguided twats who read his blog, but this…

Fortunately, I convinced him every great author has to have an editor so he agreed to let me edit it for him. Which is just as well as the amount of pretentious tosh he’s pumped out over the weeks has to be seen to be believed.

Oh yes. You’ve just bought the book so you’ll be seeing it, won’t you?

All I can say is good luck with that and I’ve done my best to bring a bit of sense to this mess, but you can put a pig in a tu-tu and it still won’t make it a ballerina.

Jacintha Farquhar

How To Start Writing A Book is available now from Amazon.

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