Mrs Jago’s Handy Guide to the Meaning Behind Typographical Errors: Part IV

.... or 'How To Speak Typo' by Jane Jago

actuslly(adverb) oozing artificial affection after the manner of actors and other artistic types

anaywa (noun) the indigenous people of the hooflungdung islands whose national sport is easily guessed

andenoid (noun) – a gland in the hypothalamus excreting the chatter hormone: over action of this gland is the direct cause of verbal diarrhoea

buhher (noun) – a person with an unhealthy interest in poo 

hig (noun) – small mammal of the genus typographicus which subsists entirely on eggcorns

installmetn (noun) – the nasal parts of an anteater

learb (verb) – to batter the ignorant into submission with the sheer weight of one’s intellect

madochism (somewhere between a noun and a verb) – pertaining to the action of persistently hitting one’s thumb with a hammer to distract oneself from a blinding headache

marjeting (noun) – decorative wall embellishments created when children throw their breakfast at the cat

mis recall (noun) – one of the lesser known pipes on the Great Organ of our Lady in the Cathedral of the Tiny Redeemer

repvious (adjective) – having scaly skin and an aversion to cold

stopopid (adjective) – having very hairy feet

suppoding (adjective) – of wounds excreting green slime smelling faintly of ouzo

tnaks (noun) – small, hard balls of mucus found in elderly handkerchiefs

toe nagging (verb) – when one treads hard on a partner’s toe at a social event to remind them not to mention something

Disclaimer: all these words are genuine typos defined by Jane Jago. The source of each is withheld to protect the guilty. 

2 thoughts on “Mrs Jago’s Handy Guide to the Meaning Behind Typographical Errors: Part IV

Add yours

  1. “learb (verb) – to batter the ignorant into submission with the sheer weight of one’s intellect”
    Would that this were possible. These folks are so ignorant they don’t even recognize my intellectual superiority. Blast and damn!

    Like

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