We caught up with Les Lynam and asked him some profound and probing questions…
Q1: Puppies or kittens and why?
I am probably the world’s worst person to ask a simple two-variable either/or question. I can rarely see the black and white of anything and tend to immediately demand clarifications to make a decision more palatable. Puppies or kittens? Do I have to live with them or just spend an hour playing with and/or watching them? Assuming some type of short-term relationship, I would pick kittens because they are so lively and fun and play interesting games with each other and can easily be engaged by dangling a feather from a string. I feel I must at this point quote Ogdan Nash: “The trouble with a kitten is that. Eventually it becomes a cat”. Therefore, in a long-term relationship, I choose the puppy as it will grow up to be man’s best friend, the dog.
Q2: Who would you prefer to be eaten by Godzilla or Cthulu and why?
Aha! Another either/or question. While the first one was figuring out which one might be more pleasant, this one is a ‘which one is the least offensive’. Instead of questions, I fear I’d have to toss out a possible disqualifier. Though I’ve certainly not seen EVERY Godzilla movie, I’ve seen quite a few and it strikes me that Godzilla (and other kaiju, for that matter) isn’t really a chomp-on-people kind of monster. He’s more of a stomp-on-things kind of guy. Examining my other choice, the first thing that comes to mind is how much I detest pretention. “High Priest of the Great Old Ones”… well la tee day. Think you’re all that, do ya, Cthulhu? I suppose one advantage of picking Cthulhu is that it’s been sleeping for eons. Probably nap right through a meal and wouldn’t get around to eating me at all. Rather than a coin toss on this one, I’ll go with a commonality I have with Gojira. The first movie came out in 1954, the year I was born.
Q3 If you woke up tomorrow to find yourself living in a work of fiction which book/series would you least want to be living in and why?
Even more paralyzing than selecting from a binary choice is having a plethora of terrible living spaces to choose from. An easy off-the-top-of-my-head choice is any of G. R. R. Martin’s GoT novels. Whether a minor character or lead, it’s a good bet I wouldn’t make it through an entire thousand pages alive. Closer to home (as an author) would be getting trapped in Stephen King’s Misery as the Paul Sheldon character (not only by a crazy lady, but also trapped psychologically by his publisher and readership). Alexander Dumas’ Three Musketeers would be another bad fit for me. I’m a little too old to be swashing any buckles and I’d hate to live in a time that was sans hot and cold running water and indoor bathrooms. Though there are dozens of other ghastly places, I’m going to choose Hugh Howie’s Wool. I’m a bit too claustrophobic to live my entire life in an underground silo and the cardio from all the stair climbing would probably do me in.
What fun… dog, Godzilla, and Wool. Final answer.