Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV’s review of Little Women

You may well ask how one ever came upon this ‘literary classic’, as it is undoubtedly aimed at pre-pubescent females. However, it can also be aimed in a wholly different set of circumstances at the nodding cranium of a son who dares to fall into slumber when his beloved Mumsie is watching Kramer vs Kramer for around the four millionth time. One had been inveighed into the parlour by the promise of Mama Mia, and then let down with a bump by one’s perfidious parent so that one was unhappy, to say the least, but not stupid enough to attempt escape whist the turgid trash droned on and on and Mumsie sniffed and snotted unbecomingly. One had briefly succumbed to all but terminal boredom and allowed ones head to drop for a moment when ‘thwack’, a heavy leather-bound volume hit one’s forehead corner first, causing a large and purple contusion.

“You, Moons, are an awful little shit,” Mumsie declared in tones of doom. “You can just fecking well sit there and read quietly and stop spoiling my film.”

And thus I became acquainted with Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy.

Now. My review.

Little Women, by Louisa May Alcott

Four sisters living in poverty during the American Civil War hardly seems a recipe for riveting entertainment, and in truth it isn’t a thundering good story. But it has some sort of something, because one was unable to discard the tome until it was read. The four girls have different characters, different dreams, different problems, but all are dealt with in some clever way so as to keep one reading. It seems dreadfully plain and unadorned. An yet… Motherly Meg, tomboy Jo, sickly Beth and beautiful Amy. Not all survive. Not all prosper. One laughed. One even cried.

One’s  mater actually accused one of becoming ‘almost human’ as one read this old-fashioned morality story with sympathetic tears staining one’s cheek.

As she remarked. Perhaps one is closer to nineteenth-century female children than to one’s own contemporaries. Who understands.

Three stars reduced from four because of the bump on one’s cranium.

 

Coffee Break Read – Faust

From Trust A Few by E.M. Swift-Hook.

Faust made up half of a team of two brothers. The younger and the more annoying half and a temporary resident in Voltz as he formed part of a team set up to work on an ongoing project. As far as Avilon was concerned if the team included Faust, he did not want to be a part of it.

As soon as he entered the bar, a slight frisson passed through certain segments of its patrons. One or two offered a terse nod, most avoided his eye and a couple even got up and headed out. His reputation in Voltz grew all the time.

He found Faust crouched on one of the well-padded side benches, a remote visor concealing his eyes from view, making strange noises as if imitating some kind of fast firing weapon. Now and then he would twitch his hands, manipulating things only he could see. Avilon grabbed his arm and pulled the visor up. Faust’s eyes looked pale and watery, those of a subterranean creature. Removing the visor was like lifting a stone and finding something squirming and hideous underneath. He hissed like a snake and tried to snatch the visor back. Avilon ripped it away, dropped it on the floor and crushed it with his foot.

“Play time is over. Shame Cullen wants to talk to you.”

Faust pushed up fast from the bench with the strength of his legs, throwing his entire body forward, and tried to sink his teeth into Avilon’s face.

It was like handling a wild animal. Worse. He could not use lethal force. Worse. It was in full view of the entire bar on a crowded session. If he let it go on for more than a moment or two he could expect to get a few half-humorous jeers, longer and he would be being mocked by half the bar. He could not afford that.

In the end, he opted for a simple but effective arm-break lock, manoeuvred the feral screen addict through the iris valve door and spun him round, ramming him up against the wall, as it closed behind them. Then he said in a very calm voice: “If you make me go through that one more time, Faust, I will break all the fingers on both your hands – one after the other.”

An idle threat. Shame Cullen needed Faust operational, but Avilon was willing to bet Faust himself could not be sure of it. The younger man looked up at him with limpid eyes and smiled.

“I think you might enjoy that a bit too much,” he said.

“Oh, I would. So don’t give me the opportunity.” But he had no way to be sure whether or not the message penetrated Faust’s skull.

Trust A Few is the first volume in Haruspex Trilogy of Fortune's Fools by E.M. Swift-Hook

 

 

 

 

Author feature… From ‘A Wager To Win’. Jenna Thatcher’s Regency romp 

A Wager to Win by Jenna Thatcher: When Lord Harrington mysteriously leaves the London season much too early, he sets tongues wagging. He would wager he will never marry...

May 2nd, 1813

14 Grosvenor Square, London

Charlie,

Our Dear Mother is in a State of Depression about your quitting London. She has asked me to write you and tell you how concerned I am about your current bachelorhood.

Reggie wrecked his curricle within 24 hours of his owning it, something about a race with Strathmore that was only an excuse to go at a bruising speed. I own I was a bit relieved to not have come along, for I very much like my face where it is. As I have won the wager, you will be receiving a copy of your required reading post haste.

The Right Honorable Viscount Petersham

 

May 7th, 1813

Holcombe Manor, Kent

Georgie,

The Mysteries of Udolpho is an absolute horror to read. I am finishing it as quickly as possible like medicine with a bad taste. I cannot understand the appeal, and I will look very differently now on females who praise its merits. 

Meg has also written me, although her letter was full of a variety of descriptions about fripperies. I find it ironic that I haven’t the foggiest idea what any of it meant, and yet I am footing the bill. Our Dear Mother has also written, and it was much more to the point than either of yours. Apparently Miss Pratt is wasting away to nothing in my absence.

As a result, Mother has decided to have a house party in June. Perhaps it will allow Meg to socialize in a more comfortable situation before her entrance into society. Regardless, I must stay at the estate to attend to a variety of business. If there’s anyone you wish to invite, then of course bring them along.

I wager Miss Pratt will be the very first guest Our Dear Mother will invite. In that case, I should like to return the favor and have you read Udolpho in turn.

The Right Honorable The Earl of Harrington

 

May 11th, 1813

14 Grosvenor Square, London

Charlie,

There is no wager – I am in complete agreement. Mother is in a state regarding the house party. You’re a complete idiot.

G

 

Chapter 2

June 15, 1813

Holcombe Manor, Kent

Lady Shaw,

I am in receipt of your letter regarding my upcoming house party and your niece, Miss Jane Shaw. I must caution you that I have been careful in my invitations, for I hope to secure engagements for both my sons shortly. There are, however a few young men that are unattached, and I am sure the amiable genteel niece you have described will be perfectly content in our festivities.

Regards,

Lady Harrington 

PS. Any debt owing is, I assume, fulfilled in this invitation. Also, I must congratulate you on your remarkable efficiency of having twin sons; I am sure Lord Shaw is very pleased.

 

A Bite of... Jenna Thatcher.
Q1. What is your secret vice? And where do you indulge?

Cadbury mini chocolate eggs. After Easter I bought double-digits worth of bags. I keep them in the top drawer of my art desk (I also paint and do calligraphy), where I sneak a hand in every once in a while.

Q2. What is your greatest weakness? And your greatest strength?

I can be incredibly stubborn. I mean, beyond ridiculous. I have, unfortunately, passed this trait onto my children. Potty-training can be (and has been) a veritable nightmare.

My greatest strength is my determination? Loyalty? I suppose those are really only nice ways to say stubborn…I am a really good friend (there’s the loyalty) and when I  believe something, I believe it with a firm conviction that’s pretty unshakable. 

Q3. You have the chance to change one aspect of history. What would you change and why?

The problem with trying to change history is that history is constantly repeating itself. It’s like telling your child not to touch the stove because they’ll burn themselves. They do, and they learn their lesson, and the child that was watching knows this…but you have to repeat said lesson with them too. Ok, maybe not the perfect analogy. Throughout history, however, there has frequently been a loss of art, artefacts, etc. that would tell us more about those who have lived, and in many cases would be beautiful works that could be displayed for all to enjoy. (For example, the loss of so much during the Nazi regime.) I would find a way to find those so they could be appreciated.

 

Jenna Thatcher lives in a quiet little valley surrounded by mountains. She has been to every state in the US (except Alaska), and has a soft spot for volcanoes. Her favourite job ever was as a children’s Her favorite job ever was as a children's librarian where she ordered the 500s - 600s. Three kids and a smart-mouth cat keep her busy, but thankfully she has an amazing husband to juggle them all (not literally). 
You can find Jenna on Goodreads as she continues to publish a variety of genres, including fractured-fairytales, fantasy, and more historical fiction or follow her blog.

 

 

Sunday Serial XXXII

CHAPTER SIX

The following Friday saw Sam and Anna ensconced in their room in a very posh London hotel. He was dressed, and Anna had tied his tie. She was almost ready and just wriggling into her little dress, a process Sam found truly fascinating.

“It’s a shame we have to meet a lot of very boring people for cocktails. Watching you wriggle has given me all sorts of interesting ideas.”

“Tough tit, Sam. It’s taken hours to buff and polish me. You are welcome to mess me up all you like after this shindig. Until then. Hands off.”

He grinned wickedly, but complied. Anna gave herself a quick spritz of perfume and picked up a tiny weeny evening bag. She gazed critically at herself in the mirror, then Sam came to stand behind her.

“You look stunning,” he whispered before offering her his arm.

 

They sailed out of the room, looking like the successful professional people they were, but with an overlay of happiness that made people stop for a second look at them as they passed along the carpeted corridor of the hotel talking quietly.

 

The cocktail hour was as boring as Sam suggested it might be. The committee members and their partners were overly polite and politically correct, but the hospital dinosaurs and their mostly brittle wives spent the time checking Anna out, either covertly, or with shockingly rude thoroughness. She let neither approach ruffle her calm demeanour, and Sam remained rooted to her side despite a myriad of subtle and not-so-subtle attempts to detach him.

“Cripes Sam,” Anna hissed as they headed for the ballroom where dinner would be served, “this lot are even worse than a room full of accountants.”

He sniggered, then Anna felt him stiffen at the sound of a female voice.

“A little bird tells me my ex has had the poor taste to turn up with some bint in tow. I must just have a look at what has picked up my leavings.”

Anna turned a bland face in the direction of the voice, and what she saw had her stifling a giggle.

“What?” Sam hissed in her ear.

“Tell you later. It really is too good not to share.”

Sam’s ex-wife was a very curvy blonde, who obviously thought she bore more than a passing resemblance to Norma Jean, which would have amused Anna anyway, but it was the woman’s escort who had her biting the inside of her cheeks to control the giggles. He was a darkly handsome man, beautifully tailored, and possessed of a carefully tended athletic build. His eyes met Anna’s and he dropped her the ghost of a wink.

“Christina, my love,” he said reprovingly, “that came out very rudely. I’m sure you would like to apologise”.

For an instant she looked mulish before dropping her eyes. “Oh. I’m sure I’m very sorry,” she muttered.

Anna inclined her head, then held out a hand to the dark man.

“Tariq. What a pleasant surprise.”

He bowed over her hand.

“Anna. Likewise.”

Then he scooped up his sullen-looking lady friend and more or less towed her into the ballroom.

 

Sam held Anna’s arm gently and they stood allowing their party to precede them. Anna put her mouth to his ear.

“No time for the whole story now, just one thing for you to think about. Unless that particular leopard has changed its spots radically, your ex will be sitting on a very sore bottom tonight.”

Sam gave her a quizzical look, then the penny dropped and he grinned.

“How delightful,” he murmured. “Shall we?”

 

The evening dragged, mediocre food was followed by a mediocre after-dinner speaker, then a mediocre band played mediocre middle-of-the-road music. The entertainment culminated with a cringe-inducing charity auction. As Anna whispered to Sam it was no more than an excuse for wealthy upper middle-class people to pay way over the odds for stuff they didn’t want just to show off to their peers.

 

By the time they could decently leave, Sam’s jaw was aching with the effort of not yawning.

“I have to slip to the men’s room. I won’t be long. Then we can escape and I’ll watch you wriggle out of that dress.”

 

When he returned, he found Christina, Tariq and their party at the table making their farewells to Anna. Christina’s father moved away from the table and grasped his hand firmly. “That’s a lovely girl you have there,” he said in his rich, Lancashire brogue. “I’m glad my little madam didn’t put you off women for good. Mind you. She’s met her match with this one. Perhaps he belts her like neither one of us did. Whatever. It seems he has known your Anna for some years. Says you’re a lucky man.”

 

Sam just smiled and watched. Christina, jumpy and edgy and seemingly unable to keep her eyes or her hands off her escort. Tariq, urbane and polished, but with an underlay of something much less civilised. His ex-mother-in-law, made faintly uneasy by something she couldn’t understand, talking randomly to the wife of one of the older doctors. And Anna. Anna, who seemed unaffected by the undercurrents around her. Serene and lovely, she smiled charmingly at everyone but was careful not to catch Sam’s eye. The giggles, he surmised, were quite near the surface.

 

As Tariq and his party moved away one of the senior doctor’s wives turned to Anna.

“He’s an attractive beast. How do you come to know him?”

“Purely professionally. He’s a financial adviser and I audited the books of some of his clients.”

“Oh. Boring. So there’s nothing you can tell us about the man then?”

“Other than the fact he’s rich, successful, unmarried and a quarter Iranian? No.”

The woman who had asked the question had the grace to blush, and her husband rescued her from further embarrassment by announcing himself ready for bed.

This effectively broke up the party allowing Sam and Anna to escape. They got into their room and Anna dropped face down on the bed in a serious fit of the giggles.

“Sorry Sam,” she mopped her streaming eyes. “I’ll explain as soon as I can stop laughing.”

He looked down at her.

“I’d sooner watch you wriggle out of that dress,” he said darkly.

She got to her feet and obliged with an exaggerated shimmy of her narrow hips. Sam growled deep in his chest and began to throw off his own clothes while she stood and watched him, clad only in a tiny thong and skyscraper heels. As soon as he had fought his way out of his dinner suit he grabbed her.

Jane Jago

 

Just for fun

You are old so you shouldn’t bedazzle
You should be both faded and frazzled
It shouldn’t be you
With a Harley (brand new)
And a Swarovski Crystal vajazzle

© jane jago 2017

Weekend Wind Down – Blood on The Sand

The tattooed face broke into an ugly snarl, as the spearhead nearly grazed one shoulder of its owner’s powerful frame. He lunged forward, the double-headed axe swinging and the crowd yelled as he claimed his kill, severing the arm of the spear-wielding warrior at the shoulder in a fountain of scarlet and removing his head with a backswing, as effortlessly as a chef might slice through a soft cheese.

It was a very popular kill. This animal, who had the fighting-name ‘Therloon’, had been the new darling of the Alfor crowds since he had arrived in the arena a couple of moons after the Fair. He was of the nomadic folk from the Eastern Continent and had their renowned tenacity and powerful build combined with a flair for the theatrical and a spectacular viciousness that was all his own. Playing to the crowd like the professional he was, Therloon swung his axe around his head and roared, his face contoured into a hideous grin which must have been visible even to those who stood furthest from the edge of the arena. The crowd responded to his signature salute and roared his name.

The powerful Easterner turned to where one opponent remained facing him. The smaller man held his sturdy frame prepared, the curving sword he gripped in one hand looked as frail as a blade of grass against the life-harvesting scythe of Therloon’s whirling axe. But the crowd expected good sport before they had their final glut of blood. For this was no ordinary combat unfolding before them and the money that rode on the outcome of this single bout would have paid the wages of half the troops Qabal Vyazin had been mustering on the outskirts of Tabruth. This was the kind of match that men waited years to see and could only be provided by this, the most prestigious Arena in Temsevar – that of the city of Alfor.

It occurred to Torwyn, watching this display as he ran a hand through his short terracotta-coloured hair, that there were many places better to be than standing less than ten paces away from the axe-wielding maniac and on the wrong side of the high barricades which protected the crowd from the fighting-slaves within.

Facing Therloon, now alone, stood the one they called the Sabre, whom the crowd had just seen defeat his own previous opponent with a classic display of athletic grace and skill. Now, invisible to all except those in the audience closest to where he stood, he shifted his weight very slightly, as if knowing what to expect. The charge, when it came, made him move quickly aside and turn to duck under the axe whilst bringing his own, lighter, blade across to cut at the bigger man’s back. It was not sufficient to do any real damage to his opponent, but enough to gain an appreciative call or two from the crowd and Torwyn could tell it had angered the Easterner.

“Sabre! Sabre!” He evidently had supporters out in strength, probably as many as were there to cheer for Therloon, but then few fighting-slaves were as well-known as the Sabre because few survived six years in the Arena as he had. Few overcame for that long the ever more creative and dangerous demands made on a crowd-pleasing favourite which turned life and death combat into gore-fest theatre or blood-drenched farce.

If it had not been for the coming war this fight would never have been allowed so soon. To end deliberately, the career and crowd-pulling earning power of a top fighting-slave was not a decision made lightly by the lanista of an Arena. More especially when the lanista was well renowned for being a tight-fisted miser, who kept his fighting-slaves in the minimum conditions and invested all his money in crowd-pleasing exhibitions and expensive exotics.

The dance of death continued on the blood-stained sand of the stadium between the unwieldy axe, made agile and serpentine in the hands of the powerful Easterner, and the insubstantial blade of the sword weaving the will of the man who held it. From the first, it had been apparent that the sword was no real match for the heavier weapon with its much longer reach. It was only because the man who held it seemed to possess almost precognitive reactions and a creatively robust athleticism, that the inevitable end was being delayed so long. The tension became palpable and the focus of the two men was absolute. For them, the world had shrunk to the circle of sand and the sweep of feet, hands and weapons.

Normally, the element of drama would have featured far more in any performance by either man. The Easterner was famed for his love of blood and to watch him fight was to watch a butcher at work in a slaughterhouse – but a butcher with a malicious streak of sadism – and the crowd, never sated, loved that. By comparison, the Sabre was known for the humour and finesse he brought to his savagery, playing with his opponents in burlesque ways which would have the crowd fired up with laughter and then stunning them into silence by the breath-taking skill of his acrobatic agility.

Even now, apparently pressed to his limits, Sabre found time to dance a brief step or two with a flower in his teeth, thrown by one of the crowd. It proved to be an expensive crowd-pleaser as the Easterner seized the moment to strike and Sabre, ducking under the blow, raised his own weapon ineffectively to deflect the lethal weight of the axe. It barely turned the heavy slicing blade but at the price of being smashed away from its owner’s grip.

Disarmed, the Sabre dived into a desperate, ground-covering roll that brought him distance from the certain death of Therloon’s backswing, and a few more precious moments of life. But his move was accompanied by the groans and boos of the watching throng. Those who had placed their money on the Sabre were most vocal in their disappointment. The fight was lost and many who had bet on the old favourite knew they would go home the poorer. But the let-down was soon overlaid by a fresh building of anticipation. There remained the catharsis of the kill itself, and Therloon was a master of spectacular, messy killing. That was something to look forward to. The Sabre’s last show would be an essay in violent, agonising death and those he had just robbed of their winnings would enjoy that revenge.

Torwyn watched the Easterner as he advanced across the floor of the arena. Therloon was fully aware that this was his moment and the exaggerated grin that split the tattooed face was as much leer of derision as smile of victory. Only those nearest the edge of the arena heard the tattooed man’s words as he approached his unarmed foe.

“You want to take back what you said before?”

The Sabre backed off step by step as the other man advanced, his arms spread wide in a gesture of pacification or surrender and the roar of contempt from the crowd at this sign of cowardice swelled close to riot.

“Take it back? Why should I?” he said as if puzzled by the question.

“Because on that depends how fast you die.”

“I don’t see why.” The Sabre’s tone was soft. “No matter how quickly or slowly you kill me it is all still true, Gant. You are an imbecile, a laughably dumb brute. You have less intelligence than the beast they named you for.”

An animal growl in his throat, the Easterner shot forward, the long axe held lightly in his hands. Sabre stepped back in a nervous retreat and in doing so missed his footing and tripped, sprawling backwards over the body of Therloon’s previous victim. He fell on his back, arms wide, body spread open and helpless.

The Easterner charged the last few paces, his face congested by anger and hate and Torwyn knew he was going to make this kill one his audience would long remember. Then the fallen man moved. His body rolled suddenly backwards, looking for all the world like a street tumbler, legs disappearing over his head and he finished the movement smoothly on one knee, the spear he had rescued in the process of completing the roll, held in his hands and braced solidly against his foot.

Therloon could no more have shifted his course at that point than taken flight and his eyes barely had time to widen in horrified comprehension, before his stomach was impaled upon the spear.

Sabre was on his feet as the impact was carried through, driving the point home deeply, twisting it to bite into the spine as the Easterner went down. Standing above his fallen foe, the sturdy fighting-slave looked down, without compassion at the tattooed face which was broken now by a rictus of agony.

“How fast do you die?” he asked savagely, for once allowing the fury and disgust to boil up through his veins. But the Easterner was beyond words, lungs pierced by the ripping barbs on the side of the spear’s head and breathing only in wheezing grunts.

The adoring ululation of the crowd ran like a hurricane around the arena and a monsoon of flowers and ribbons rained down onto the blood-drenched sand.

“Sabre! Sabre! Sabre!”

Torwyn straightened up and looked around as if seeing the scene for the first time. Then, strangely impatient and with no more than the most perfunctory of gestures to acknowledge the adulation, he ran his hand through his short rust-coloured hair and strode back through the now open gates, into the dark tunnel beyond.

From Transgressor: Dues of Blood by E.M. Swift-Hook

Face Your Fear

If you really don’t ever get laid
And of women you’re truly afraid
You need not scream and cry
From the Zon you can buy
A kindly inflatable maid

© jane jago 2017

The Thinking Quill

Hi de hi, and happy days.

Your teacher, Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV, famed for the immortal ‘Fatswhistle and Buchtooth’, is here with a bag of sweeties for good children, a rap on the knuckles with a ruler for bad children, and a smile of beatific contentment. One is ready to be kindly teacher aujourd’hui.

But. As I sit at my desk and pen this lesson the siren call of other ways and other enticements draws mine eye from the pristine page. Oh to be free of the shackles of teacherly duty! Oh to merely wander barefoot the grassy tracks of…

No, wait. Compose thyself pedagogue… Duty demands. Of us all. Pay attention mes enfants.

Lesson 33: The Write Adverbs

Let us for a moment consider the adverb, close cousin to the adjective, for the less well educated among my pumpkins this is the descriptor of action as opposed to the descriptor of object.

One can, of course enrich one’s literary efforts with adverbs in much the same fashion as one should with the humbler adjective.

Consider if you will the verb to walk. One can have one’s protagonist simply walking, but how dull, how lifeless, how detrimentally uninteresting! Why not express sorrow by having him walk listlessly, painfully, unheedingly? Equally, a happy camper may walk springily, cheerfully, expeditiously. A sick person walks stumblingly, haltingly, agonisingly. A poor man shamblingly. A rich man arrogantly. A lover voluptuously and with the sun dappling golden skin with flecks of purest amber, or sensuously with high arched feet bruising the sward to release the fragrance of grasses and crushed herbs, or silently unheard until a beloved hand brushes one’s cheek or cups the globes of one’s… No. Desist ye from this primrose path lector. We have no room here for reminiscence. There is work to be done, lessons to be learned, students to be brought to a higher place of understanding.

Back to our muttons. Consider if you will the difference between two sentences essentially providing the reader with the same set of informations.

Firstly: Ariadne walked into the temple clearing.

Secondly: Ariadne walked tremulously, with her tiny feet barely bruising the grass, she breathed shyly in shallow gasps as fear and enrapturement in equal measure brought her creeping silently into the dappled shade of the goddess’ own glade.

Add your add-jectives and add-verbs. Add them or there will be no sweeties for you and no ice cream. Decorate your prose, so that it becomes as luscious as the fur on some great golden cat that rests throughout the day draped in the branches of a banyan tree.

Learn well, and if I feel your understanding I may yet decide to divulge unto you the dearest secrets of my own heart and soul. Do I hear you beg of me one tiny clue? Very well. Just one…

Before. Mumsie entered the room where one was attempting to work at her usual shambling and graceless half-canter accompanied by those other drunken minions of misfortune whose methods of perambulation were as varied as they were unpleasing to the eye. Some limped, some ambled, some were upheld by others as their liberal potations had rendered their lower limbs unreliable and somewhat of the texture of rubber bands…. One watched in increasing dismay as they filled the family abode with hawking, spitting, sweating, malodorous flesh. And then… And then. One came – into that turbid pile of human excrescence. One came. Gold and graceful as a great jungle cat. One came….

Pauses to rearrange one’s mind.

Great feline
Walking softly
Eyes meet eyes
Dampness of palms
Heat in the depths
Great feline
Notice one, please
Lest one fade
To nothing
Under the unregard
Of your amber gaze

So, my children, you have your clue.  Study with assiduity the adverb in all its forms.

Next time. The denouement.

Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV

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Coffee Break Read – Cheap Hooch

The outbreak of violence was sudden and almost gleeful. At one minute the darts match was friendly, if a little rowdy, the next second the air was full of curses, thrown punches and broken glass.

Mickey crouched down behind the bar, pulling at Charlie’s trouser leg until he too ducked under the sturdy wood.
“Get down Chas. It ain’t worth getting hurt for a few bottles of cheap hooch.”

For an instant he looked as if he was about to argue, then his shoulders slumped and he sat down. Mickey passed him a thin, black cigarette and he lit it moodily.

As they sat smoking, a bar stool flew through the air smashing into the optics ranged behind the bar. Charlie winced, and Mickey patted his shoulder. There was a further loud crash before the welcome sound of sirens split the air.

The atmosphere in the bar did another abrupt flip-flop as the navvies and stevedores who had been happily exchanging punches suddenly found lots of other places they needed to be.

Charlie stood up for a look, just a second too soon, as he was hit in the side of the neck by a shard of glass from the last salvo of broken pint mugs. He slumped back to the floor and Mickey grabbed him.
“Chas, Chas.”

By the time the police got to them, Mickey’s hands were slippery with blood, and her face was slippery with tears and snot as she cradled her dead brother to her skinny chest.

© jane jago 2017

Moonbeam F. Metheringham IV’s review of Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert. A. Heinlein

It is not often one is granted insight into the mind of one’s parent through the medium of literature. But so it was that I came to understand Mumsie’s tendencies to overindulge in aspects of culture most regard as less desirable – sex and booze.

It was last summer and I had gone into her ‘retiring room’ to see if she had, yet again, absconded with my iPad as I had a hankering to take it and compose bucolic pastoral poetry whilst sitting in the garden. I needed something to provide the quintessential inspirational imagery so lacking in our squalid backyard, whilst I committed the consequential flow of rhyming commentary, contemporaneously to paper with pen.

Instead, I wound up reclining in the garden reading with interest a volume I had found poking out from under her favourite chair. It even reminded me of Mummy in appearance being much handled, rather fat and dog-eared. Surprisingly it had a Biblical quotation for its title, not something I would normally associate with my mater. There were also many self-revelatory notes in my mother’s long-lost youthful hand, highlighting passages or underlining phrases.

I later learned it is also a science-fiction classic.

Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein

There is much written nowadays about supernatural beings like vampires and angels and this book falls neatly in that category.

In this book, the angel called Michael Smith comes to earth from Mars. He is fabulously wealthy and naturally has magical powers. He lives in a commune where everyone runs around naked and has sex with everyone else and they eat dead people. He is eventually killed and comes back as a ghost to explain that he is going to take over the world with a new super-race, by evolving his followers. In the end, it turns out he was really an archangel.

I found the story by turns cloying, disgusting, strangely sensual, often all three together and always puzzling.

Three stars for the intriguing footnotes and marginal commentary from my maternal parent.

Moonbeam F. Metheringham IV

Adoring Fans can join my Facebook Group

 

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