Granny’s A-Z – K is for Kitchen Knives

Things that make us go poop…

Granny and the ‘ladies’ darts team of The Dog and Trumpet alphabetically collate their collective contempt for the inhabitants of the twenty-first century.

K is for Kitchen Knives and this all started when Loopy Laura of the darts team started telling us about her in-laws’ collection of them.

How many kitchen knives does anyone actually need?

Hands up all you daft buggers who own sets of ‘chef’s knives’.

In wooden blocks or hanging on magnets.

Are you like Loopy Laura’s in-laws with twenty-three of them?

Twenty-three mild steel knives they have to sharpen if they so much as look at them…

Twenty-three silent testaments to their gullibility.

Twenty-three knives of which they use probably none.

My late unlamented was a chef by profession (his cooking being one of the reasons I put up with his presence for so long). He used three knives – and one of them was solely for threatening people who wandered into the kitchen.

You need a big knife and a little one.

That’s it.