Granny’s A-Z – B is for Brazilian

Things that make us go poop…

Granny and the ‘ladies’ darts team of The Dog and Trumpet alphabetically collate their collective contempt for the inhabitants of the twenty-first century.

B caused a certain amount of spirited discussion as the candidates all have adequate reasons to be detested. So. Are we disassembling Bagpipes, Botox, or Brexit? None of them as it turns out. Brenda pulled rank and thus:

B is for: Brazilian

Not the football team, or the people of that fine country, though. The Brazilian in the firing line today is the waxing of the lady garden.
Aside from the undoubted painfulness of the procedure, and the fact one is expected to go to a ‘salon’ and pay good money to have ones pubes torn out by the roots…
One has to ask why.
Why do you want your most intimate area plucked like the Sunday chicken?
What possible benefit is there to removing the protective covering from one’s fanny?
Why does an adult woman want to model her pudenda on those of a pre-pubescent child?
And, if you are saying that you want it all gone, what the actual **** is that little strip of hair, coyly (or not) known as a landing strip, for?

Let’s hit the old chestnut first. Hygiene. There are no benefits to personal hygiene in having no pubic hair. In fact it may be deleterious to such, as the hair is protective.

It looks nice. If you really think that it’s your privilege. But you’re wrong.

My husband/boyfriend/clients like it. Unless they are paying for the privilege (when even Brenda is willing to admit that men may get half a vote), you should maybe ask yourself why he likes the frozen chicken look. Does he want you to be his baby? Is he wanting to control your labia? Or does he just think he should like it because some bozo on the internet told him he should? Whatever the reason behind his championship of this refined torture, we girls would suggest a quid pro quo. Tell him you’ll get a Brazilian if he gets a back, sack and crack wax. See how keen he is then…