Granny’s A-Z – A is for Alpha Males

Things that make us go poop…

Granny and the ‘ladies’ darts team of The Dog and Trumpet alphabetically collate their collective contempt for the inhabitants of the twenty-first century.

A is for: self-described Alpha Males

Specifically those who pontificate endlessly about how to be a ‘real man’.

Let’s unpick this particular idiocy.

Firstly. Is there such an animal as a human alpha male? We beg leave to doubt this as an unproven theory. It is a possibility that certain animal societies subscribe to hierarchical maleness, but they are a little less evolved sociologically than all/most/some humans. Where creatures who have to kill to survive may prize size and aggression. Humans should have reached a point where intelligence trumps proddy behaviour, and quiet competence is prized above loud mouthed shoutiness.
However. If we really are looking for male leaders, we certainly won’t be scraping the bottom of the pond in order to dredge up misogynistic idiots who seek to camouflage their own lack of intellectual rigour by calling any man who doesn’t look up to them ‘gay’.
On which point we note that there are various overpriced ‘workshops’ where the sad and the stupid seek to become ‘alphas’ by means of enduring humiliation at the hands of a set of con artists who possibly even believe their own con trick.
Note: if allowing some guy in army surplus fatigues to urinate on your head is what it takes to become alpha. What does that make it worth?