Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV Advises on The Best Writing Environment

Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV takes time from his immensely important life to proffer profound advice to those who still struggle on the aspirational slopes of authorhood…

Dear Reader Who Writes,

By now one’s profile is such that one scarcely needs to trouble oneself with an introduction. The willingness to elucidate? The eloquent and sophisticated writing style? It could be none other than Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV – acclaimed and admired author of “Fatswhistle and Buchtooth” whose fantastical and fortuitous adventures through the megaplex-multiverse have been steady in the Amazon charts as Bestseller One – in a – Million for over a year.

Mummy tells one that as a consequence of one’s talent and application one can now claim millionaire status as an author – and as such, one’s advice, dear Reader Who Writes (henceforth for brevity, my RWW), should be deemed as of a value beyond that of any lesser star in the literary firmament.

The Best Writing Environment

Today, we shall consider decor. For how shall a man write words of beauty if surrounded by ugliness… Let your writing environment be as the oyster shell that contains the pearl of your wisdom in its nacreous depths. Let all be of characteristic colour and lustrous texture. Let even the floor upon which you rest your prognathous toes be a thing of surpassing beauty.

For oneself, one has chosen a monochrome background against which the vibrant colours of one’s imagination can flower like the tenderest of cymbalom orchids. Against the purity of nero and blanco, one may await the prognostications of Euterpe and Calliope in perfect symbiosis with one’s environment. Oh, how one’s soul sings for sheer beauty, as one takes up the metaphorical pen with which one dispenses the finest flowers of one’s intellect and one’s experience to both enlighten the minds and titivate the jaded palates of the proletariat behind their electronic reading devices.

And this, gentle RWR, is the prescription for perfection in the decor of your own little writing hovel. Let your decoration be tasteful and rich, playful and precocious, seductive and austere, lightsome and weighty. Let it be all these things, but above all let it be the perfect backdrop for the blossoms that are seeded in your mind by the gentle Muses as they blow the breath of inspiration into your hearts and souls. Oh, and don’t forget cushions. One can never have too many cushions.

The next time I speak to you we will consider the vital importance of writing rituals.

Until next then, my faithful students you RWW. Bon ecrit!

Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV

You can find more of IVy’s profound advice in How To Start Writing A Book courtesy of E.M. Swift-Hook and Jane Jago.