The Easter Egg Hunt – V

Since Ben and Joss Beckett took over The Fair Maid and Falcon, they have had to deal with ghosts, gangsters and well dodgy goings-on. Despite that they have their own family of twin daughters and dogs, and a fabulous ‘found family’ of friends. Life seems to be going well when…

The chirpy octogenarian looked up from his hand of cards and grinned toothlessly.
“I don’t reckon he’ll be giving your man any trouble.”
“Me neither. And while he’s outside I suggest we all have a drink on the house.”
“There’s no need for ‘ee to do that.”
“Possibly not. But I’d like to.”
While the regular customers were being served free beer I looked at Smith.
“How did you get here?”
“Taxi.” His voice wobbled a little, though I wasn’t entirely buying his timorous beastie act.
I lifted a hand and Ed came out from behind the bar.
“Not one of the buggers went for anything more than their usual,” he remarked cheerily.
“They aren’t a bad lot. And they did get a bit of free entertainment. Can you make me a very large G&T and bring my shrinking friend a brandy, also large.”
Ed saluted and winked at me before ambling off to fetch our drinks. Mr Smith looked truly uncomfortable.
“It’s very kind of you to provide me with a much-needed bracer. I’m grateful. But may I just call my father?”
“Of course. Shall I leave you?”
He blushed furiously. “No. That would be truly rude in me.”
I sat back and he pulled the very latest iPhone out of his pocket. I thought wryly that thuggery must pay better than catering, before deciding that I don’t have the temperament to be a gangster’s moll.
Meanwhile Smith was talking fast and I recognised the language as rom. He obviously didn’t expect a gadjo female to catch on to his antecedents, and while I was weighing up whether or not to let him know he had been rumbled I wondered what else he wasn’t telling me. I hadn’t reached a decision before he ended the call and treated me to a toothy smile.
“My father wishes me to pass on his gratitude for the information.”
Ed appeared with our drinks and I took a fortifying sip. Then I decided to call Smith’s bluff. I offered him my blandest look before speaking two of my six words of rom.
“Kaski san?” Meaning whose are you? As in what is your family?
He all but dropped his drink, along with his pose as a bumbling nonentity. For about ten seconds I saw a conscienceless killer looking out of his eyes, before he pulled himself together.
“How much of my conversation did you understand gadjo?”
I laughed in his face. “About none. I only knew it was rom. As for my question to you, Grandmother Lovell told me the words to find out the affiliation of a Romany person.”
He frowned briefly. “Why would she tell you that?” I could see when his memory of something or someone clicked in. “Joanna Beckett wouldn’t be Joss would she?”
“She would.”
He dropped the timid accountant pose and grinned me a crocodile grin. “Now I see why it’d be a bad idea to antagonise you.”
“So don’t,” I put a little whip in my voice. “Just explain yourself.”
“My grandmother was a Lovell. And my mother was a Heron.”
“And you lot are Smiths. Okay. But why didn’t you say anything before I rumbled you?”
“Because we mostly don’t like to have our ethnicity known.”
“I’ll buy that. But knowing that we have a connection to the Lovell family?”
He curled his lip. “Danilo Lovell has some very strange friends.”
This was no more than the plain truth, but there was something else bothering me.
“Okay buster. How come you never recognised Jed Lovell?”
He looked as if I’d slapped his face with something that smelled bad.
“That was Jed? Whose mother eloped with Jedediah Lovell?”
“I think eloped implies marriage. But substantially. Yes.”
“That makes him my cousin, I think. His grandmother and mine were half sisters. I need to call the old man again.”
I spread my hands, and watched with some enjoyment as he spoke to his father without bothering to hide behind his pose of ineffectuality.
He was just about finished when Ben reappeared, sitting down beside me with a wry grin.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Finoula angry. And I’ve certainly never seen her Putting The Fear Of God. I rather wish I’d not seen it now. I truly don’t think those boys’ll be back.” He turned his eyes onto Smith. “What about your lot? Will I have Finoula come and talk some sense to you?”
“If Finoula is Finoula Lovell, then no thank you very much.”
“How’d you work out our friend here is Rom?” I asked.
“I didn’t. But Jed noticed him, sat there in his accountant on holiday gear, and blew the gaffe.”
“I don’t get that one little bit. I’m sure I have never seen Jed Lovell before, even though I have heard of him.”
Ben speared him with a long look, under which I could feel him squirming.
“Okay. I’ll give you that. And why you were recognised? Jed used to see your father when his granny was alive. Reckons you’re the spit of him.”
Smith pulled a sour face. “Apparently. Though it’s not something to aspire to. Looking like a pet rodent.”
I showed him my teeth. “I dunno. It could be useful. Until you let the mask slip, I might almost have thought you as harmless as your camouflage suggests.”
“There is that I guess.”
The door to the car park opened and Jed popped his head in.
“Okay to bring Clancy in for a minute or two?”
“Yeah. You’re fine. Got nobody in but locals.”
He opened the door fully and came in with Finoula on his arm. Her guide dog, Hector, was at her side although he wasn’t wearing his harness and they were followed by Clancy, whose sheer size was intimidating if you didn’t know him.
Smith stood up and greeted Finoula and Jed in rom.
Jed grinned, but Finoula said something sharp. Smith recoiled as if he had been slapped, but he dropped his head and replied quietly.

There will be more from Joss, Ben and their friends, courtesy of Jane Jago, next week, or you can catch up with their earlier adventures in Who Put Her In and Who Pulled Her Out.