Granny Knows Best About – Leap Years

With a lifetime of hard earned experience behind her, Granny generously shares the wisdom she has gleaned over eight decades. So pin back your ears and bloody well listen!

This is more in the nature of an ill-tempered moan than an actual hint. What is the matter with the media – and seemingly anybody under the age of sixty?

Yes, there is one extra day in this year.

What the f*** is the big deal? Every four years we get a leap year. It’s like the Olympics and the World Cup. Get over it…

It doesn’t matter. 

You don’t get an extra day tacked on to your life in a leap year (and, if you are paid monthly, you don’t even get any extra pay).

I am even seeing happy leap year cards advertised. Do. Not. Buy. Them. The only people who need a card are the ones born on February 29 – and they have no need if they have seen more than ten actual birthdays.

So. Today’s hint is absolutely simple. February 29 is just another day. Anybody that tells you different is an asshole and probably wants your bank details so they can deposit the million pounds you won in the national lottery of some obscure banana republic. Take Granny’s word for it… it’s NBFD.

And finally, to every sad spinster out there who thinks it will be a good idea to propose to the asshole who has been conning bed and board out of her since just after the last leap year:

For. The. Love. Of. Little. Fairies. Don’t.

One: If he hasn’t mentioned the M word after more than three years, there’s a reason.

Two: The bas***d will very probably run a mile.

Three: Your proposal will be trending on social media within ten minutes so when he refuses your humiliation will go viral.

Just don’t.

If you are lonely buy a dog and have him neutered.

There it is my precious little snowflakes. Pull up your frilly panties and bloody well get on with it or Granny is going to fetch you such a clip across the lughole