How To Speak Typo – Lesson 11

A dictionary for the bemused by Jane Jago…

arror (noun) – inaccurate missile fired from a baw 

baw (noun) – piece of bent wood with string, specifically designed for firing missiles at one’s own foot

cehck (verb) – the action of exploring the nasal cavity with an extra long fingernail

doog (noun) – a modern dance involving the raising of one’s right leg and symbolic sniffing of one’s partner’s posterior

ewach (noun) – small marsupial usually found under the bosom of spectacularly fat women

frabkly (adverb) – to complete an action in a sideways and scuttling manner reminiscent of a crustacean

gentrifly (verb) – to render an area yummy mummy free

gragoyle (noun) – stone carving heavily besmirched with pigeon shit

maffin (noun) – fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free flavour-free muffin

mohtre (verb) – the act of reluctant parenting characterised by the ritual clip round the ear and excessive use of the naughty step

ognon (adjective) – of breath, being offensively scented with allium 

poek (verb) – the act of eating stringy meat

quuck (noun) – very bright yellow ‘cheese’ with absolutely no flavour and the texture of a rubber ball

sking (noun) – the scummy bit on the top of elderly custard

tooe (noun) – small digging rodent renowned for its crusty nails and unpleasant odour

understanking (verb) – crawling through a tunnel under a tank full of piranha fish

Disclaimer: all these words are genuine typos defined by Jane Jago. The source of each is withheld to protect the guilty.