How To Speak Typo – Lesson 10

A dictionary for the bemused by Jane Jago…

boolish (adjective) – hailing from the small state of bool on the Indian sub-continent

chamring (noun) – metal ring which can be worn either on the genitalia or in the hair

damger (noun) – mild irritation of the genitalia caused by sitting on a microwave oven

dona’t (noun) – a fried doughy treat filled with apostrophes

mipsprint (verb) – to talk gobbledygook very fast

micpherone (noun) – the hormone secreted by leprechauns when in heat

pashish mag (noun) – shoddily produced amateur porn publication

porrigde (noun) – Scottish breakfast consisting of oats, Buckie, and car tyres

sruck (adjective) – denotes having one’s finger in one’s ear rather in the manner of an elderly folk singer

troat (noun) – fish of the salmon family native to to the river Liffey with feathery gills and large mouth 

vejanuary (noun) – pet name for the lady garden adopted by yummy mummies

wellow (verb) – the act of walking through a nine-inch-deep puddle in six-inch-high wellington boots

zump (noun) – small tumulus under a the fitted sheet in a newly made bed indicating the presence of a sleeping cat

Disclaimer: all these words are genuine typos defined by Jane Jago. The source of each is withheld to protect the guilty.