How To Speak Typo – Lesson 6

A dictionary for the bemused by Jane Jago…

abyssmal (adjective) very craggy and deep usually used to describe wrinkles or bum cracks

acorss (slang) – as a matter of fact old chap

ahewad (noun) conspicuously large male genitalia

ancinet (noun) – medieval forerunner of the Internet involving running men carrying scrolls

bo liek (slang) – diarrhoea

bearst (noun) – feminine chest hair

cintip (adjective) – of hairdressers unreliable with scissors 

dregde (adjective) – looking as if one has seen the ghost of one’s ex-husband staring out of the lavatory pan

ewrror (noun) – a mistake made when describing something disgusting

finsing (indefinite form of the verb to finse) – finding oneself in the window of a department store naked but for a bucket on one’s head

mena – (noun) the postmenopausal thoughts of a small lavender elephant

pis hood (noun) a garment for exceptionally inclement weather

scrathing (verb to scrath) – placing one’s nether regions on the platen of a photocopier for a jolly jape

thta (noun) – small marsupial with orange buttocks and purple furry ears

wevy (adjective) of hair having the tendency to point in all directions

woudl (noun) – Cornish nose flute music best heard from a very great distance

yest (noun) – sludgy stuff in the bottom of drip trays behind the bar in a not particularly hygienic pub

Disclaimer: all these words are genuine typos defined by Jane Jago. The source of each is withheld to protect the guilty.