How To Speak Typo – Lesson 5

A dictionary for the bemused by Jane Jago…

asi in (noun) – karate dildo

autghor (noun) – writer of vomit inducing horror fiction

balaclave (noun) – hat made from sheet music

bow job (noun) – revenge macrame made from the pubic hair of an unfaithful lover

chorkle – (noun) the sound that emanates from the throat of a cat who is about to vomit 

dsire – (verb) to almost want something

happilt (adverb) – of running to clap ones heels together joyously

interrofate (verb) – to question closely whilst tickling the feet with a jelly mould

mucbn (noun) – Scottish bread found wrapped around burger

noof (adjective) – with the demeanour of a slightly silly female newsreader

oss (noun) – bony and indigestible piece of useless info

predicatbel (noun) – a device hung around the neck of a cat to warn its owners when it is going to stop purring and latch sixteen claws in their unprotected flesh

smae (noun) – a small fish subsisting on the loose skin shed by elephants when bathing

thnaks (noun) – cod liver oil flavoured crisps

wodnering (verb) – creeping under people’s eyelids to look at their fantasies (and maybe get a laugh)

Disclaimer: all these words are genuine typos defined by Jane Jago. The source of each is withheld to protect the guilty.