How To Speak Typo – Lesson 1

A dictionary for the bemused by Jane Jago…

Decison (noun) the tenth son

Eggieoie (noun) a person from Cornwall

Eso (noun) a pungent herb of the family pusillanimous that tastes and smells like very old mothballs

Flaiail (verb) to simultaneously pick one’s nose and play the mandolin 

Mustal (adjective) of alpacas and llamas – those few hours before a female comes into season when all the males trail round behind her dribbling

Ploker (noun) one who constantly grasps his genitalia whilst in conversation with the opposite sex

Puch (verb) ride a very old moped slowly and with a wobbly trajectory

Soudned (adverb) of sleeping. Being so fast asleep that one can only be awoken with the aid of the Dagenham Girl Pipers

Thethe (noun) small purple-furred marsupial that subsists entirely on cups of tea and ginger biscuits

Udnerstade (verb) to sit under a lactating cow with one’s mouth open

Vumbole (noun) the sticky mess left after hawking up a swallowed fly

Weord (noun) of novelists seeking a synonym that doesn’t exist

Wirry (verb) to chew on something with one’s back teeth in the manner of a masticating sheep

Disclaimer: all these words are genuine typos defined by Jane Jago. The source of each is withheld to protect the guilty.