The collected ‘wisdom’ of seven decades on this planet condensed into poetic form. Certainly not philosophy to live your life by…
Don’t eat meat, or wheat, or dairy
It will make your palms grow hairy
Fruit is bad, erodes your teeth
Sugar’s poison, send a wreath
Nuts cause injury to your heart
While grains and pulses make you fart
There’s nothing left we can consume
But broccoli and courgette blooms
And anything remotely nice
Is bad for you. That’s the advice
It’s making me feel sad and snappy
Gimme a doughnut. I’ll die happy
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