The Thinking Quill

Dear Reader Who Writes,

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV and you will, of course, be aware that I am the author of “Fatswhistle and Buchtooth” – a peregrination by two quintessential heroes through a fascinating multiplex universe of fantasy and science fiction worlds. This dazzling tour de force has been riding high on the Amazon Best Seller list at Number One (Million) for the last two years.

Perusing the wonders of the worldwide web I came upon this pathetic attempt at a blog and, seeing what a veritable dog’s petit dejeuner these two ladies are making of it, simple humanity demanded that I should shoulder them aside when my exacting schedule permits and offer you my golden nuggets of wisdom on the pitfalls of this literary milieu.

Thus, having presented you with my bona fides, and assured you of my good intentions, you will readily see that I offer the summum bonum of excellence in writing practice.

So I bid you pay heed, fair Reader Who Writes. Oh and to save my valuable time, I will reduce you to initials for the rest of this, RWW.

How to Start Writing a Book – Lesson 1. The Write Environment

Did you see what I did there, RWW? Now, the important thing, if you want to write a book, is to be properly prepared. You don’t just sit down and start writing, you need calming rituals, mood music and the perfect scene. More of those vital rituals in the future, today I want to look at how to establish a perfect writing environment.

It is all about location, location, location! Personally, one has one’s supremely masculine writing cave in a small undercroft that was historically used for storing coal. I will admit it was not my first choice – that was the sitting room with its pan-vistic views of my neighbour’s back garden and her laundry line, from which depend many interesting items with which a writer of erotica should be conversant. However, Mumsy wisely opined that the cosy confines of the combustibles storage facility would offer me much less distraction and more opportunity to focus on the call of Calliope.

Mumsy’s wisdom also means I can exert complete control over my writing environment, and that, dear RWW, is crucial to the success of your little writing project! Let just one little thing be out of place and your concentration will be distracted – and distraction is the bane of all writers and the cause of many an unwritten magnum opus.

So, choose your writing location with care, and the next time I drop by I will offer you my expert guidance on how to equip and decorate it to exacerbate the manifest prognostications of genius.

Until then, dear, dear RWW – bon ecrit!

Moonbeam Farquhar Metheringham IV